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IT'S TUMBLR THREAD TIME! I'll be posting about 5-10 screencaps a day from the very best of tumblr. The mob wants it. The mob will get it.
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ouinne
I’m partly deaf so I can just see someone telling me “this is a robbery!” and me not hearing it so I just smile and nod until they leave.
For all I know it’s happened, how could I tell.
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Lizzy Miller

A college classmate worked at a gas station in rural Tennessee. Somebody tried to hold it up when she was working solo. She told the robber that the time-release safe wouldn't let her do that, and there was like $30 in the cash register, but she'd be willing to split the safe's contents with him if he came back in half an hour.

So he did.

He was shocked, *shocked,* to learn that my classmate didn't actually open the safe in that time.

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José Albornoz
@misty saving this for future usage
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John C :hankbutts:
imagine tricking a bank robber into showing you his actual ID 😂
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Ross Brown

This is exactly how I imagine folks gathered around their computers, reading my blog.

Exactly.

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LegalQuilts
oh I feel so bad for that poor teller. She has to have been traumatized.
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Otmar Lendl

An Austrian band made this into a song in the 80ies. See youtu.be/rXUlmP5MvnE

They even made a version in English: youtu.be/Sql2QtXIxIk

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John H
oh my god I clicked this thinking that mpreg must be a video codec I hadn’t heard of. By the Power of Inference I have worked out that it is Something Else Entirely 😵
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Another Angry Woman
porn i can't watch (too long to fully alt-text, enjoy the fulltext here: at.tumblr.com/foone/fun-fact-i… )
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Started to read and went "who the hell even has that?", looked at the tumblr and "of course. foone"
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VooduDrew
what’s Anon?
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VooduDrew
nvm. Duh! Lol.
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Mobile Suit Larry
sad that it was Lily Tomlin, and not Julio down by the schoolyard
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gudenau
"This is going to be in training courses" means you either did something very wrong or very very right. Good stories.
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Waterlylly
BWAH HAHAHAHAHA!! So, an actual use for "Just say No." Ohgods. This is the funniest thing I've seen in ages.
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Stuart Longland (VK4MSL)

Suncorp Bank at Michelton (now my closest branch since they closed the one at Ashgrove) basically _require_ me to pass a note across the desk to withdraw cash as the withdraw forms are all kept behind the teller's desk.

Either that, or I recite it all verbally.

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EvilK
Just goes to show, we're not growing smarter robbers.
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Amipfaelzer
Beautiful! Absolutely wondrous!
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Matthew Walton
this never gets old
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ShipScrewUnscrewer
OMG this reminds me of @TechConnectify and his great video about the scientifically best way to boil water youtube.com/watch?v=_yMMTVVJI4…
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Matthew Abbott
Hey @ecj you'd like this 😀
@ecj
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Dan Jones
I'm 18 & walking home with my ex & we go down a long narrow path hidden on the way home, around a corner these other 17 or 18 year olds 3 of them with a golf club. Guy is chewing gum, spits it approaches with the golf club he's tapping his hands with "hey bud, there's a $5 toll to get through here" me: with pity voice "oh mate if I had $5 I would but I don't, hard times get enough to eat" saying this as I am walking past & me & gf 20m's clear. 5mins later I realize. I'm an Autist Jedi
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Roses are red
Gender's a performance

At least gay Statler and Waldorf
Aren't hetero-conformist

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Jim Jones
I want all my elves to look like owls.
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Gobelin Nounours
i suppose they've zoom in eyes like the eagles.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

If that cat is succubating, what he's lying on is too. (No judgement)
I miss succubating my cat, before she joined the Great Feline Tuna Collective In The Sky™. 🙁
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Enigma Voice
robber: wants to rob the bank
bank: robs the robber
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Deviled Eggaels
I adore this so much and the RANDOM DUTCH DUDE YES
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in reply to Another Angry Woman

Nuts that the man has made literally one sex scene in his entire career, but the fact that it involved a tight-assed Abe Sapien means he’ll be “the horny Lovecraft” forever.
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jjjjeeppyyaanngg 🧝‍♀️

this was both legitimately informative (wasn’t under the impression that a rabbi had to bless food to make it kosher but had never heard their role as an expert in Judaism explained in that way before)

and also worth reading just for the wordplay.

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Oat Mouse
I'm a decent mouse!...well, I think. Let's just stick with "a mouse" for now and we'll come back to the "decent" bit at a later date 😅
in reply to Another Angry Woman

fully earwormed now. youtu.be/ilrnnDMuIog
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hexada 🌙𝚯⃤
this is beautiful
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Don't study physics but I am an adult.

Wouldn't recommend that part, at least.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

See also 'this is just to say', except the question & personal information are just implied. ('what are you gonna do about it?' & 'ok now I'm off to sleep with your sister, make sure dinner's ready when I get home.')
in reply to Another Angry Woman

not OK… I have a severe bronchial infection and this toot nearly killed me.
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GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)
⬆️ Corrected and extended image description #Alt4You:
Screenshot of four tumblr posts:
User ommanyte: I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard
Again user ommanyte: It’s Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif
User bougquetoftwelve: It's Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif(formatted in fonts so that every 7th letter is sans serif)
User val-ritz: With one line you activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode
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Kate Watson
I’m stuck on ‘seem like older men’. Um, you’ve understood the fundamental conceit of this franchise, yes?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Absolutely inspired. I bet Keanu would love it too.

(I've been watching his Youtube shorts. Very silly man.)

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Seth Kaplan
Can you trust a lyre?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@semiotic_pirate this is brilliant

Came from here btw: tumblr.com/queerdandelion/7057…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

All I know is that “gayweeddaddy69” is taken as a user name, and now I’m too sad to make crepes.
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Kiki
food
@blinry this ☝ reminded me of your diet diary posts 😁
in reply to Another Angry Woman

the person on the left in the bottom one looks like Judi Dench, so could it be a Bond film?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I *thought* the last screenshot here might be the Twelfth Doctor visiting the Master/"Missy"(1) in the Vault, but after finding tardis.fandom.com/wiki/The_Vau… I think I'm wrong, so there's a fifth example.

The modern Doctor Who seasons have a whole thing about putting girls and women in boxes (for punishment, for rescuing, for tragedy) so at the time I thought it was just part of that. But yeah.

(1) Which is a whole nother rant.

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Canageek (Roleplaying account)

@rockario I FOUND IT

And now I can't remember what I needed it for

in reply to Another Angry Woman

this does the rounds on tumblr all the time in a post by allthingsmustpass1970 captioned "they should do emmys for gifs" and shit yeah they should do emmys for gifs because I pause to watch it every time
This entry was edited (1 year ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

No one seems to realise that this is a mutual benefit arrangement. The puppy + bird generate more heat together than separately, and the bird's feathers hold the heat in. Snuggling up increases the chance for survival of both.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

all memes left on tumblr for more than about a fortnight

reshared this

in reply to Another Angry Woman

so PlayingWith

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

In British English, 'miaoued' accomplishes the same. (In American English, it's 'meowed', which does not.)
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Another Angry Woman
@jamesgraham ask anal sneeze boy, he'd know
in reply to Another Angry Woman

thank you this made me laugh a lot. Still giggling. Tumblr conversations can be absolute gold.
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in reply to Another Angry Woman

that tumblr person was really trying to bait the family guy theme song and got slapped instead
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Somewhat lewd
delighted to report big naturals gandalf cosplay exists

reshared this

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Another Angry Woman
Somewhat lewd
@doot if I could fave a post a million times I would
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honestly the pronunciation makes a lot more sense than i thought. was concerned for a mo
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I found a version in the style of Nine Inch Nails m.youtube.com/watch?v=b8vJ86bj…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Further reading for interested parties (a transcription of the original pamphlet): theanarchistlibrary.org/librar…

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

It's a nice thought, but also it smacks a bit of privilege. He has the ability to do something about it, but doesn't have to worry about what happens if he doesn't do anything. He was around before any of it and the dark lord won't affect his future or well-being.
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Cyber Yuki
lol, that scene of Gandalf in Moria's entrance is classic.
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kabachuha
[DATA EXPUNGED]
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Well that was hilarious and now I discover there's a whole thread. I'll have to come back to this later.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I couldn't resist the temptation, so I asked DALL-E to draw that for me. Prompt: bob ross painting of little demons in the style of hieronymus bosch
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There is a Bob Hieronymus, actually. He's got a mural up in the quiet room in the courthouse where one gets assigned jury duty in Baltimore. It's rather unusual.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert…
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Graham Sutherland / Polynomial
Gore (described, no pictures)
holy fucking SHIT
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I hit a dead end on path progression and one of my friends suggested I head to a starting area where I could reset my path, instead I decided to do a respec and put more points into the "community connection" skill. I like this option better. I get to keep some of my items and character progression, and I get to open up more progression paths.
@Hex
@hex
in reply to Another Angry Woman

white people and racism
Politicians and climate change
Everyone and fascism
We're pretty good at this actually 😭
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Þór Sigurðsson

That would be KÄKAR

🥰

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Female-presenting nipples
Motion tracker beeps like the one in the movie Aliens
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Advanced Persistent Teapot
it's the Jaws shark as drawn by The Oatmeal 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

it sounds like "wezzu" - like when a foreigner might try to pronounce "veður" (weather in Icelandic)
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I'm going to do it, I'm going to make another character without these mental illnesses!

oh no i have another mental illness

😂

in reply to Another Angry Woman

The Gallic Long Earlobes is an especially nice maneuver, I've heard.
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c.reider, too sad to be spooky
Hudson from Aliens voice: that’s it man, they’re everywhere, game over man, game over
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I saw one of these things at this place called bluestockings out near Chinatown in NYC.

I'd be down for it.

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Colin Wren
hot MILFs have breached the perimeter
in reply to Another Angry Woman

second time I’ve seen this and honestly this right her is a great use of ai, no?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

they're thinking of "wince"

(although it does bother me that "cringe" has become a thing cos "cringeworthy" is less... well, cri

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Another Angry Woman
@nevali lmao yeah, I feel like this is not far removed from reality
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This is pretty much how I played space lego - giant cute houseshares in space in the future. Even had the coveted monorail space lego set!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I made this a while ago. It’s drom a parallel Pronoun Cinematic Universe, I suppose.
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Another Angry Woman
@ebooksyearn it's a close second, but for me it is the sheer joy of pronouncing the word Himbus out loud
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There's a kind of murky burgundy-ish purple that I'm not a big fan of, but generally it's not wrong.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

What does it suggest for alternatives to Google Search 🤔. Google has been getting pretty useless recently.
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Includes still of that giant spider from LOTR
I miss the chaotic energy of Tumblr sometimes but not enough to deal with the drama and terfs in my asks
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Sort of explains why even under fully automatic space communism, the computer can't remember how he takes his tea
in reply to Another Angry Woman

youtu.be/Ra7oqFqj9uU
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Reminds me of the video demonstrating the newly released Siri that replied to every request with "Sure, locating taxis in Dalston"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

As a child I was disappointed that atoms weren't alive until I realized they were very small.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I am reminded of my exaggerated Valley-girl-esque "representative" whenever I need to navigate automated phone tree systems
in reply to Another Angry Woman

youtube.com/watch?v=NMS2VnDveP…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Exactly me when Android Car is done reading aloud an incoming text message and asks if I want to reply : "no, I do not" because any shorter form won't work
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an episode about Picard accidentally requesting a live ocelot would have made a better episode than about half of the holodeck hijinks episodes.

That said ... in 1962 IBM demonstrated a computerized voice recognition system that could recognize 16 distinct words. By the 1980s, much better systems, but still notoriously error-prone and quite limited, existed in several university labs. It's possible one of the writers had read about these, or maybe even had direct experience.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

sometimes when Counselor Troi and Captain Picard put in their drink orders at the same time, the replicator goes all Tuvix on them
in reply to Another Angry Woman

On the other hand, it (and all the other voice-activated stuff) knows when you're talking to it. Otherwise, replicators would be spewing out food any time someone near the input said anything food-related.

"So, I ordered some gakh once and..."
Replicator: DING!
"No, I don't want gakh..."
Replicator: DING!
"Look, you steaming pile of dingo's kidneys..."
Replicator: DING!
(At this point, stuff is spilling out onto the crewperson's pants.)

(Later, after showering and changing their uniform, they actually DO try to get dinner, only to be told they've exceeded their caloric allowance and need an exemption from Medical.)

#StarTrek

in reply to Another Angry Woman

What if the reason Picard has a british accent rather than a french one is because he interacts so much with Federation speech-to-text systems that he functionally had to undergo voice training in RP in order to be understood, and one of the first things he learned to do reliably was order replicator tea?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

damn. Never thought about it before, but yep he is definitely using the pronunciation and cadence I use with Alexa & other voice-activated stuff
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As an early adopter of voice recognition AND search, I feel this in my bones

It's a wonder he trusts his body to transporters

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Going back and watching the TNG and DS9 crew interact with voice activation, tablets, and variable displays is wild.
LCARS. an interface that changes as you need it, concieved of in 1989, when most products had push-buttons that did just the button thing.
This was only 5 years after the Macintosh GUI was introduced.

PADD was 21 years before iPAD

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I had a weird reaction to the 2009 Trek movie doing a joke about the ship's computer not understanding Chekov's accent.

I know it was supposed to be played for laughs, but my ADHD ass immediately went "Oh no... Russians and Eastern Europeans are super-rare in the future?" 🙁

in reply to Another Angry Woman

You know that scene in Galaxy Quest where the computer can only understand Sigourney Weaver’s character’s voice? I have that problem with a lot of voice recognition programs; I need someone else to talk to them for me.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I can imagine it now:

"Lt. Barclay?"

"Captain?"

"It happened again."

"I'll come and recalibrate voice recognition... should I...?"

"I've pacified it with some chicken, but you should ask Lt. Knowles to send someone for containment."

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Wait, /who/ says "science fiction never really predicts the future?" Not anybody I know. I say exactly the opposite, quite frequently. In fact, I've basically stopped reading science fiction because too many of the depressing things I remember reading in my youth keep happening for real and I no longer want to know.

#strawman

in reply to Another Angry Woman

You've seen "Scottish Voice Activated Elevator", ja?

youtube.com/watch?v=NMS2VnDveP…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

They got it pretty accurate, but if current trends are anything to go by, he'll have to order

"Tea, Earl Grey, hot, blended tea with bergamot, porcelain mug, cup, beverage, steaming, saucer, in the style of Jacksons of Piccadilly, high definition, ranked #1 on TeaTalk"

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I always kinda assumed that it was like phoning a call centre - press 1 for sales, press 2 for repairs ... Picard knows what the menu structure is, and is jumping ahead of the computer asking him 'what kind of tea? What temperature?'
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I once liveblogged the Bible. Except it wasn't live, and blogging was barely a thing, so it's a webpage and you have to look up the passages yourself.

I was delightfully unconcerned with catering to potential readers.

Unfortunately it predates mobile browsing so the formatting is awful.

#bible #atheism

bjornar.tuftin.net/NoWhere/bib…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Just once I want to see it respond with something like, “Okay, calling Tina, Hot, from your contacts.”
in reply to Another Angry Woman

TIL the Kardashians are Armenian (because their response would have been mine as well).
in reply to Another Angry Woman

musings on the horse gender detector et al
I keep wondering where those "animal hates men" things come from. Ruling out a magic gender detector for the moment, I wonder if it's a thing of cis men subconsciously carring themselves more confidently / entitled-to-space-ly / posturingly versus cis women subconsciously carrying themselves more timidly / having been taught not to take up space (like spread legs vs crossing legs) and transfem eggs having the timid / non-threatening appearance of a depresso dyshporic person and the animal picking up on that? It's honestly the only thing I can come up with on the fly
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Genuinely in my story I have warhorses owned by Valkyries who won't let anyone who isn't a woman near them and this literally happens with trans people they encounter. If anyone says it's unrealistic I'm showing them this.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

holy shit i scrolled all the way to the top but @Tusky fuckin CLEARS ALL THE TOOTS IT LOADED WHEN IT REFRESHES SO I'M BACK HERE 😭
in reply to Another Angry Woman

My friend's dog hated men. I was not told this ahead of time. The first time I met her, I walked right up to her and let her sniff my hand. She sat down and I started petting her. My friend's mom looks over and goes "oh, that's weird. She's never let a man do that before."

And here we are.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Includes still of that giant spider from LOTR

reminder that wb gave shelob a humansona because... reasons? i guess?

the shadow of "x" games are super weird.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

the fact that you hang out at a barn makes you more likely female anyway. Of the many barns where i have kept my horses, the humans have always overwhelmingly been women
in reply to Another Angry Woman

surely even Alfred Molina is Chad Doc Ock, compared to the Virgin Peter Parker.
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Another Angry Woman
re: Piss
@milan hope he sees this tip and makes some more efficiency savings
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Includes still of that giant spider from LOTR
I love that instead of looking up the reproductive organs of a spider, they asked the world in general, "Does a spider have a pusspuss?"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

That is EXACTLY how I want my family to tell everyone I'm being cremated.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

You can also grab a knife here (while supply lasts):

  • 🔪​ (0 votes)
  • 🔪 ​​ (0 votes)
  • 🔪 ​​​ (0 votes)
  • 🔪 ​​​ (0 votes)
Poll end: 1 year ago

reshared this

in reply to Another Angry Woman

In Germany it went the other way around:

Police can only ban people from public premises unless they get called for trespassing.

Thus toilets got paywalled to enforce 1 user policies and also justify demolishing free public toilets.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

“thats theft” is just the funniest response like thats right callout post to God for stealing human remains
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I would boost this but then I'd have to boost the rest of the thread as well.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

as much as I love your shit post thread it's now so large when I expand the posts my app crashes.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

What an extraordinary post. I do have pierced ears done at Clair’s. What is the problem?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

those who fail to learn from history don't get the realy good memes. ;)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

if you live long enough to see yourself become a villain you can still be dead long enough to become a meme

Angela Glansbury 🚽 reshared this.

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Mⱺ℠
oh yes, sorry, me too
in reply to Another Angry Woman

That is why Lieutenant Tawny Madison was so vital to the crew of the NSEA Protector.
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Shu Daizi
I rather like Felmale. It makes it sound like I'm a dark wizard or something.
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Russell Garner
I've been International High School Visit at Ho Chi Minh City on March 19th since 1973. 50th anniversary tomorrow!
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Calliope
It's me, hi, I'm the Unexpected item in bagging area
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GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)
These are great new genders
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Wurzelmann
Personally, I am an Option 2 🥰
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Madeleine Morris
I've always felt very 'hot bread'
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I want to be a Summoned Demon!!!!
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OMG - if I could pick Business as my gender maybe I'll get a billion $$$ every year in bailout money from the government!!!
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Wow, this brings back memories of the first nonprofit database I worked on. So very little security, every user could add to the dropdown fields.
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undead enby of the apocalypse
summoned demon… but as in I’m the one who summoned a demon. Assigned dark mage at birth.
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Victor Zambrano
@drj and we worry about AI not making sense…
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Randy Noseworthy 😼 :debian:

@msquebanh

I'm sorry, but I'm getting so confused with all of this. 😜

When, I was younger, I felt like stainless steal.

Now, I just feel kind of old and rusty.
🤷‍♂️

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Statmonkey 🙊
If I choose Sea Captain is do my pronouns be com Our, are, Rrrrrrrrrrrr?
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Aviva Gary
Just curious... how does one become the new gender of business... at the very least I want their rights and privileges lol 😆 🤑
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Clifton Royston

Aren't we all an Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area of life?

Actually that sounds like it could be a country & western song.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

such an obvious twist that I didn't see coming I feel like I just watched an M Night Shyamalan movie
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lb: bom dia apenas para extras 8
in reply to Another Angry Woman

youtube.com/watch?v=8Tc7MH5ZXb…
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Sandwolf
Wolf falls out of chair laughing.... insufferable little clown baby... Oh that hurts. Wolf holds up a pink blank Hurt Feelings Report to the sufferer. 🤣
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"Sounds dangerous," I said, once she'd explained the plan. She rubbed her undercut and chuckled. "I won't tell OSHA if you don't."

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

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Catherine is Exhausted
stop. They exist in every generation.
Some 30 odd years ago I worked in a very traditional Italian restaurant . At the end a meal someone in the family order 4 double espressos and 3 Sambucas, which of course came with three coffee beans in each Sambuca.
The woman I assumed was the grandmother drank all of them and ate the coffee beans.
I thought she was going to fly out the door like a Strega Nona.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I guess, in the same way that any death can be labeled heart failure, any diesel-powered ship can be labeled an oil tanker
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Another Angry Woman
@stolas yep, they're more closely related to cows and antelopes than goats
in reply to Female-presenting nipples

@FuchsiaShock and obviously there's his other buddy who washed *his* feet and wiped them with her hair, just a whole bunch of foot freaks
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I've been saying it before, but the message of Jesus and the new testament is some real guts and gore cult stuff. Christians are implied to have to sacrifice humans, but because we cashed in that Jesus-who-is-actually-God chip we got a lifetime supply of sacrifices in one go.

Shades of Odin sacrificing himself to himself.

Or maybe god is just scared to bring up the need for human sacrifice because how it ended last time.

Happy Easter by the way.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Often seen with the "Could Be Worse" card, which shows a hand with the smallest two fingers amputated.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

a special appearance from neil gaiman, who uses tumblr, was clearly in this interaction, and is therefore aware that this happened so there's no need to tag the guy
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I feel like an opportunity for multiple entendres was missed here by not using "woods" instead of "forest".
in reply to Another Angry Woman

rich people are like doctors, in that you have to trick them into thinking doing the right thing was THEIR idea
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Ah yes the Flurgerhamheimer device, of course Steve I'll go recombobulate it as you just said because I've worked here for years and know all about that procedure
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Not quite sure if I understand this. It has something to do with holes I think.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I agree that being horny on main is completely fine, but can we keep hole pictures on a different account? Like when I want porn I want my timeline to be porn only, not a bunch of random stuff too (like my main is) lmao
in reply to Another Angry Woman

next time I see Alice Roberts talking about post holes I shall think of this
in reply to Another Angry Woman

there's a lot of nastiness in the universe but I'm not entirely sure I can even wrap my mind around people who would be hateful about fresh basil pesto
in reply to Another Angry Woman

If we can think of something that's a chess opening, a shocked exclamation, and too expensive, then we can fold the whole thing up into a tetrahedron.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Not sure this is legit as it does not have a reference to Sweet Home Chicago 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I can't help myself: "Troy McClure‽ I thought you said he was dead!" "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Sensitive content

#nsfw
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I woke up this morning and discovered to my surprise that I had been transformed into a hot, steaming bowl of bisque.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

ok but... isn't fifteen minutes a perfectly regular time to eat a pizza in, and are frozen pizzas in america sliced or why didn't OP have this experience earlier?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Is Elon Musk planning to follow the precedent of one medieval pope by making a literal run for the papal throne and then jamming the papal tiara on his head before anyone can object?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"ok so you'll change the font? Great! Right. Now. The last item is your horrifying content ..."
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just so you know, your post is the longest post that my server knows of.

And I consider its a very good one

app.wafrn.net/post/5fbeb003-f6…

I share this link because it includes THE WHOLE thread and its great

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Kind of upset at how this is playing in my head now. But also kinda hot?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This is funny, I've always thought that about cherry tomatoes, if my lazy self doesn't feel like cutting them in half, I just don't choose them 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@patterfloof I love the "us trucks are built to pull more"... most US trucks are built to 80,000 lb, or 36.29 tonnes. *looks at a 44 tonner* Someone's maths are off ;)
Unknown parent

Mrityunjai Bharti
this is a great thread.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Svenkerud, Hallingdal, Norway, Route 7, coming from the North. goo.gl/maps/2CKmzeAnDLut23Fr6
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I am embarrassed to say that I love this — and learned a lot — in a good humored thread that made this whole family of road creatures much more relatable
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Have you seen the video about these wild excavators? youtube.com/watch?v=i6QXadkl5D…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This is how you can tell you’re in an alternate timeline. That and the dirigibles.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I've always felt that Eurovision is sort of ritualized combat between countries that have shed each others' blood too long time and therefore, bardic contest is a heritage-approved way of going at it. Like Finland and Sweden treat ice hockey.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Norton’s best line of the night: Two things that are really hard to get out of carpet.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Don't try and tell me Wallace hasn't built some Heath Robinson fucking machine that pegs him vigorously while also buttering a crumpet.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Irish Language:
Men = Fir
Women = Mná
And yes, there are public loos that just have the Irish signs.

But don't you mean loo or toilet rather than bathroom?

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Food and drink (? arguably? Maybe???)
the concoction

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

Food and drink (? arguably? Maybe???)
Decaffeinated? That's the real crime.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Food and drink (? arguably? Maybe???)
the pic looks like a sample the hospital would get from a very, very sick person.

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

I've often thought this about getting dressed. There's the "10,000 hours to master a skill" thing, but only if it's mindful practise.

What if we were super-mindful every time we got dressed? We've all spent a fair few hours doing it. Like, you could just throw an bunch of clothes up in the air and kung-fu and outfit onto your body before they hit the floor.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

a H🤮me Dep🤮t employee gets fired for that.

"Egregious Company Policy Violation" is what they called it. I was a Manager with 20 years with the Homophobic Depot.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

i now also possess the convenient knowledge that "yeah shut up, you bitch" is a valid beginning or ending haiku line.

I'm not sure how or when, but this WILL come in handy.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

wait do they mean the guy gay voice or the woman gay voice because that reads entirely different depending on which it is
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Coming out of a well and she's been doing just fine

'Cause she's Mrs 9to5

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Ah back in the Olden Days they used to put centipedes in it. I remember the ads.
Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
@Rhube same, it raises more questions than it answers
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@doot where does he think baby oil COMES FROM? Olive oil doesn’t dissolve olives. These young people need to get grounded in reality and spend a summer working the baby presses.

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Where did the human brain break for this? I love the theater of counting, and no, you can t go in until Ive counted it,

.... its all like "when I get to hell they will all be so sorry"

"yeaH" the crOwD yells, packing for hell.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

harboring a secret desire to be a mesozoic superpredator

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

I am on that med and this explains why some days I wake up thinking I'm a horse.
Unknown parent

David Andersen
@grayface_ghost @cstross I thought I was having trouble speaking because of reflux, but now I realize it's because I was horse, and no one can talk to a horse, of course.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@jwz hey I read that book too! I don’t know how they pulled it off but somehow it was amazing
@jwz
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I like that someone thought suggesting changing your timezone would change it on something else, would get them out of trouble.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

this is a good positive statement to people in general: ‘ I hope you win whatever argument you are having’
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I push my books back at home because it lets me put amusing little knickknacks and widgets in front of them. But I appreciate this wouldn't work at a library and would also drive some people completely around the bend.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

: I worked at Booking.com. I got a phone call from a woman who had arrived in Italy with her husband and two kids on a surprise trip and she was raging mad there were no hotels available for her location because she had booked a trip to Italy without booking a room in advance. I finally found them a one night rental, and a hotel for the balance of their stay but she was angry as hell that I could not find a private driver at 3 AM. Sometimes I wonder how their vacation went.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The woman calling the library is absolutely correct! Book bindings belong aligned with the front of the shelf, pushing them back suggests the shelf isn't really for books, and humans training access to them.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

We need more of this. We need to confuse the ad algorithms to push ads for more animals that use the Internet. 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This bear wrote a fiction involving a ship of that sort and a teenager escaping a Fascist state. Not easy, and I did a lot of research, but Scurvy was dealt with by a local carpenter named John Harrison.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

weren't some of the sailors of those ships nicknamed limeys for some reason?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

My husband, the sailing instructor, would be 100% on board with all boats being sailboats.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Counterpoint: The Renaissance of 'Gay Pirate' TV series in recent years. Sexy swashbuckling progressive boats!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

fairtransport.eu/en/
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Machiavelli is always timely and worth a read. Including that bit (he does tend to bang on a lot about the evils of mercenaries and foreign auxiliaries, but then again, he wasn't wrong).
in reply to Another Angry Woman

If only there was a historic empire that Tsarist Russia based itself on to learn from in history that hire to many mercenaries which led to its military decline . . .
in reply to Another Angry Woman

still waiting for the Sun Tzu chapter on fire attacks to make a comeback. As I recall, wind direction is really crucial
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@KFuentesGeorge This reminds when I first got a cell phone the minutes were charged differently if they were evening versus day. And I was like what if it’s day here but I call someone back East and it’s evening. How is it charged? The salesman never responded to me.
Unknown parent

skua
May be time to re-examine the claim of some atheists that scientists are just like atheists and love Richard Dawkins.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Until now, I didn't realise I wanted a Derry Girls spin off with a young novitiate Sister Michael.
Unknown parent

Air_Cooled_Nut
@madelainetaylor
And they reproduce.
And they have a driver license.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Lewd
I'm obsessed with the way the artist has Elon's tits start at the collarbone. Like, are they so heavy that he needs structural connective tissue that goes all the way up there? What's inside them? Are they cybernetic and full of neodymium and cobalt? And if so, what horrors await us?
in reply to Loukas (They/Them) 🏳️‍⚧️

@Loukas
I just read this aloud to my husband, fellow catdad. I started in monotone. As I was swept up in prose, I could not help but intonate ever more dramatically extolling the virtues of magnificent catbeast.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Over engineered Search Engine Optimized AI articles that takes information from out of date or incorrect sources.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

almost the exact thing happened to me in a supermarket carpark near a music festival — "heh, look at those emos!" — it was Death Cab for Cutie.
Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
@dianaprobst it was a curation challenge, I have to confess, and in the end I went with my gut
in reply to Another Angry Woman

i can't explain it but this is absolutely something Zaphod Beeblebrox would say
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I feel this 100% as someone who cannot use voice for anything because apparently people with my regional accent do not exist.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@jwz I know a lot of people hated Daniel Craig's Foghorn Leghorn accent, but I thought it had a certain charm to it, and I love him as Benoit. I hope they keep making those movies.
@jwz
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I don't think anybody can understand it without experiencing it. I never met anyone who could.
Staring at the dishes at the table and being unable to just get them into the dishwasher. It is horrible and humiliating. Blaming yourself for hours because you don't understand it yourself.
It destroys you. Nothing to laugh about.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Everytime I gotta make a phone call it’s like youtube.com/watch?v=NUC2EQvdzm…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I've been imagining it as a Tom Clancy thriller except the cool secret agent protagonist has ADHD.

THIS SUMMER: Chris Pine in EXECUTIVE ACTION

in reply to Another Angry Woman

re: (Cartoon) rodent vagina hanging out
In rodent-world breasts are more lewd than vajay-jay
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Gandalf and Frodo big naturals
they don't know ive been following them for 3 days

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

Unknown parent

H. A. Kirsch
@jamesgraham
Furries and their F-List profiles have entered the chat
Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
@jamesgraham I wish they'd used it in The Good Place as a swear
Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

My brain has gone directly to: this will make an excellent euphemism for cunnilingus
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I LOVE that he's trying so very hard. He a little confused but he got the spirit.
Unknown parent

catch
thought they'd mis-spelled cronuts but those are definitely croissants.
Unknown parent

Virginicus
One of the greats.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Your Tumblr dives are a genuine highlight of the day for me. Are you sitting on a huge pile of saved entries, or is it an ongoing forage?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I had a dream the other night in which this very thing was happening, except the goal was go to sleep, but they were around a table bickering on how that is even possible, i fell asleep
in reply to Another Angry Woman

as a person with severe ADHD, I sometimes think of my executive function as the hostage CEO. They’re in the office but tied to a chair and under guard. #adhd #executivefunction
in reply to Another Angry Woman

ancient greek philosophy

[edited 8/3/24 to add a continuation of the thread]

This entry was edited (8 months ago)

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Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
@Cleopatra [jumps out of barrell] no need to be so touchy about it!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Other way around: Adjectives describe things that differ from the default. A genetic object tastes bad, has no sound or smell, but looks and feels good.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Diogenes on the Internet: "Touching story, bro. I bet you're a real looker."
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@cstross I think that it also has to do with the likelihood of involuntarily hearing or smelling something unpleasant being far higher than that of tasting it. The default object probably tastes awful, though most people avoid ever putting it in their mouths (probably because of how bad it also smells and/or sounds)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"got it, Tesco military cot has been added to your cart. Is there anything else?"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I'm still thinking about what an accurate description this is of the experience.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

it asks an even more important question: what if the US government was filled with Nazi scientists.

Oh wait, that part is real life #OperationPaperClip

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Why take two bottles into the shower when you can just gob on your paw
in reply to Another Angry Woman

handbinding my immortal

(genuinely one of the best things I have ever seen)

(A/N I included as little of the actual text as possible in the alt because Enoby's writing style is gonna be hell on screenreaders. DUN LIKE DUN LISSN)

This entry was edited (1 year ago)

penwing (they/them) reshared this.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

not in my house it isn't. One of my cats asks to be washed/shampooed if it hasn't happened recently. (Stands in the bathroom and meows at the shower.)
Unknown parent

Nantucket E-Books
Gore (described, no pictures)
Dear god...
Unknown parent

Advanced Persistent Teapot

Something something Pied Dick

Or was it Dick Pie, I can't remember.

Unknown parent

xinit ☕
there are some mistakes on the joke list. Pretty sure they boil pizza there.
Unknown parent

Leslie 🇺🇸🌻🌈 🌊
this is why I Google words all the time while watching my British crime dramas. 😉
Unknown parent

Yorkshire Bucket just sounds like a delightfully large Yorkshire Pudding
in reply to Another Angry Woman

have I found the corner of mastodon for tumblr reposts??? how do I find more 👀👀👀
Unknown parent

Dogzilla
The names for English food are way more interesting than the actual food is
Unknown parent

Mike Pirnat
Two meters?! That’s inside the ROOM!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I like this one, as I always found the noun "treat" *painfully* condescending, as a child. All I heard was "you are a stupid dog I must train with little biscuits" every time an adult used it.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Works in team video games too. In Dota 2 it's not that uncommon to choose to make a worse decision because it's less likely to upset your teammates.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

haha

Julius Caesar "The Queen of Bithynia" if I remember correctly.

also Latin doesn't have third person pronouns

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I love Gen Alpha, they're making up all kinds of shit like this just to see how gullible their parents are.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Julius Undecimus?
But perhaps they're taking the Queen of Bithynia jibe literally, while overlooking the "every woman's man & every man's woman" one.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I didn't know that weird bugs were good with cheese. So many ethnic delicacies!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Well there’s “touchy,” which means irritable. And “looky looky” is an exclamation indicating intrigue or attraction.

So the default is also for things to be grumpy but alluring.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

see, I disagree.

We do say that something is "a sight" meaning it looks impressive, and we do say something is "touchy" meaning they're ill-tempered.

The conclusion is that the default object is impressive to look at, ill-tempered, produces a cacophony, smells bad and tastes delicious, which is to say, it's an apex predator, which all tracks.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

We have "sighted," but that would mean the object can see you. And we have "touched," which means the object is...well, not quite right.

So the default object is loud, stinky, delicious, slightly insane, _and it can see you_

in reply to Another Angry Woman

The flying guy in the picture is St Joseph of Copertino, patron saint of aviation.

According to his hagiography, he wished to be a Franciscan but was rejected several times for lack of intelligence or educational attainment. Eventually, he was admitted anyway and became a priest. He reportedly levitated while saying mass.

The Spanish name for "Copertino" is Cupertino. Some in California established a parish dedicated to this priest in the disocese of San Jose - St Joseph. There are many Catholic churches in the area named after the parton of he diocese. St Josphes of Mountain View, St Josephs of San Jose (I know), St Joseph of Los Altos. And also the parish St Joseph of Cupertino. So when the area got more populous and needed a post office and city governance and all that, well, if they've got a church St Joseph of Cupertino, that must be the town name, right?

Anyway, then 50 years later Apple moved in and now the extremely dull suburb is famous.

Also, the church says it's Thursday office hours are 1-4, but nobody is answering the phone.

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

You in my timeline are a bliss in bad times, stavvers. I didn't know you in Twitter, I'm not from the anglosphere, I only caught one of your toots accidentally in my early moments in Mastodon, found it funny, and chose to follow you because I was following too few people. What a blessed decision
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The inherent revoltingness of cheap ham
pork prism
This entry was edited (1 year ago)

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in reply to Another Angry Woman

The inherent revoltingness of cheap ham

This could only be improved by the pork prism being a hefty slab of Billy Bear

Photo source: I have no idea, probably the Jigsaw man from the Saw movies.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

one of my favourite things is when 6’ tall guys are shorter than me, I VERY autistically repeatedly say how I can’t believe that and are they sure because I’m 5’9” drives them INSANE
in reply to Bethany Black

@BethanyBlack it is *wild* to me how weird men are about it, but you are doing the lord's work
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I had to convert to metric to see about which category of guys were talking about 😅 Apparently I'm 6', so I could have lots of fun with those tiny tiny guys 😉
in reply to Another Angry Woman

might need to replace "demi-god" with "constantly complaining about back and knee pains" for accuracy.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@BethanyBlack As a cis male who is both old (59) and tall (6'4"), has a fondness for tall women who are age appropriate ,I find women will reduce their height and age on dating sites, it's understandable given society, but very annoying!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There’s an entire colony of cats descended from Ernest Hemingway’s polydactyl pets that can rock this look.
Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
@doot that is adorable and perhaps she is the target demographic for that leash, because I certainly cannot think of anyone else to whom that would be relevant!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Even if dogs see colours differently, the colours they see on the collar would still be the same as the colours they see on a flag.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

this happened in Cyberpunk 2077

sometimes you'd just be walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants

in reply to Another Angry Woman

@waitworry pretty sure that the Baldur’s Gate team has solved this, in their character creation you get a choice of penises, vulvae and most disturbingly “default” for your character’s genitals. The peen through trousers bug does feel very Projekt Red/Bethesda
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@BethanyBlack @waitworry

How would you get a good ballistic trajectory on a fart-powered penis if it wasn't optimised?

in reply to Another Angry Woman

"Needless Penis Physics Calculations" is just gold. Someone make it their band name.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@Illuminatus 15 year old me, circa 1980, had NO IDEA where this was going to end up when he invented the Githyanki for a D&D campaign ...
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@Illuminatus Yup, guilty as charged! (Teenage me was responsible for about 10% of the monsters in the original Fiend Folio.)

Nicked the "Githyanki" name from an obscure first novel by an SF writer nobody had heard of called George R. R. Martin.

in reply to Charlie Stross

@cstross The Forgotten Realms wiki has the link to an interview where you commented and the reference to Martin: forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wik…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Oh wow, that takes me back to the 1990s and some priest in West Cork going loud that the Host couldn't be gluten-free because it was the Whole Body of Christ. His Bishop pointed out gently that the Host wasn't wholemeal, and that was the end of it.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

but cats don't see color the way we do too (only old world monkeys and some female new world monkeys can distinguish red and green among mammals)
Unknown parent

gabi
this is so good
Unknown parent

Edaqa Mortoray
You can use it for more, "stark contrast" and "stark drop" are quite common. It is a fairly generic adjective, though yeah, it's not used commonly outside those few phrases.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I got a friend of mine a Cane Knife because those things are just cool. Hell, in the store walking up to checkout I felt like the woman in those pictures.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I love this one because it absolutely taps on my earnest theory of knowledge involving the underrated necessity of analogy and metaphor to overcome lack of shared foundation. 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Important to remember that Dickens was a horrible person to his wife, children, the Irish, and lots of other people
in reply to Another Angry Woman

His gravestone basically says 'His dad wrote Oliver Twist', missing out on his key role as rabbit inspector for New South Wales.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I thought Dickens talking sh!t about society was pretty brutal, but when he writes about his children, it's worse!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The inherent revoltingness of cheap ham
But is it better or worse when they come with the faces of clowns and bears on?
Unknown parent

Unknown parent

CharLES ☭ H

I feel like most of the more prominent transphobes now have openly broken with feminism and have started being much more clear about their alignment with fascist funding and support.

Which means people who are actually radical feminists now have space reconsider how their beliefs were so easily hijacked. Is time to become intersectional or were they right all along that every oppression is secretly a type of sexism?

in reply to Another Angry Woman

no thats the problem hes legit funny like hes got the comedic instincts of a lifetime bully
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I hate that this is true. His cattiness and kayfabe would even be - well, if not a good thing, at least an appropriate thing.
in reply to Charlie Stross

@cstross there is a parallel world where this is what happened and I wish we were there
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@cstross I’m
Reminded of sassy Justice Trump.

youtu.be/9WfZuNceFDM?si=iCdBgf…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I think he could still be nudged that way if we could get the crowds to applaud at the right places. A few rallys and he would become Pavlov's drag queen.

@stavvers

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Am now terrified, though, imagining the Worse Alternative Republican Potus who might have squatted our-world Trump's shtick.

Because you know there'd be one …

in reply to Another Angry Woman

LOL!

Is it wrong to hope that SNL picks up on this and we have a whole Drag Queen Trump arc or even reframe the Republican primary debates as a Drag show with musical numbers? Might give George Santos ideas though, or an unfair advantage.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

yet what would her name be? Dolly Strumpet? Donna Hump. Inquiring minds need to know
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There's a part of the multiverse where Donna Twump came second in season 8 of Drag Race and complained it was fixed, and Jinkx Monsoon is a much loved two term US President who worked on equality, poverty reduction, and robust action on the climate emergency.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

That needs to be on the biggest digital billboard in Times Square.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Search result 6: six-year-old Daily Mail article about a backbench MP's call for bike helmets to be made compulsory
in reply to Owain Sutton

Which is apparently "woke madness" and "political correctness gone mad", right? (The LLM the Daily Mail just added to their CMS adds a "woke" jibe to any piece that mentions "political correctness" and was published prior to 2020, just to keep it understandable by the swastika-wearing goldfish they're targeting, because they've already forgotten "political correctness".)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Result 7: 15-minute video explaining the new aerodynamics of helmets used in this year's Giro
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Giro, brilliant helmet, saved my life, unfortunately couldn't help with the other multiple fractures or the collapsed lung but saved me melon 👍
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Yeah, this pretty much nails the state of things right now. I fear it is only going to get worse, too.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

browsing this thread in reverse has been a phenomenal journey. the mitosis one made me feel so many things at once that i nearly impaled my phone upon a spike
in reply to Another Angry Woman

oh god you activated my biblical scholarship SpIn, on your own head be it. Fun fact here is that some scholars think the “sweating blood” is an insertion into Luke’s text. Luke portrays Jesus as a stoic philosopher and removes all the references to him being anguished. It’s thought this was added back in to make Jesus look more human (when some later Christians were denying this). And now we get evangelicals basically ignoring/denying these references to Jesus being “weak and emotional”

The millennia-long back-and-forth between “Chad Jesus” and “Virgin Jesus” could in itself form the basis for a book on ever-changing western attitudes towards masculinity

</infodump>

in reply to Another Angry Woman

love how everybody in this post is wrong. Nobody(*) in the netherlands wears bike helmets (which is bad, and I really hope more people, esp vulnerable people start to wear them).

*: yes yes, almost nobody

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Everyone knows Christ died on the cross. What my book presupposes is ... maybe he didn't?
Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I'm vaguely aware of a Muslim sect that believes that Jesus survived the crucifixion and lived out his life in another country. (I once skimmed one of their tracts; it had what I'd now call a real undergrad-atheist energy to it.)

So anyway, if you run into someone like that, assuming they are Muslim would certainly go over well and not in any be be hilarious.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

entirely true and accurate, I am Dutch and actually died because of the windslapper
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The inherent revoltingness of cheap ham
It is on the other hand less wasteful of the poor animals who died to make it.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

My spouse and I recently bought a used vehicle that is a target for wheel theft. I googled "honda civic wheel theft protection." First result was an ad. Second was an article that ultimately recommended a Kryptonite New York Fahgettaboudit. I guess the AI couldn't really handle analogies well.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Sadly, I think the OP’s confusingly-expressed point was that Jesus had to be a Manly Man™ in order to get as far as he did before dying, and if he’d been some sort of emotional Girly Man™ he would have swooned when flogged and expired in a dainty flounce before he managed to drag the cross up the hill.
1/2
in reply to Chris Packham

There is not a single hint in the Bible, that Jesus was actually dead after he was taken from the cross. Many things point to the conclusion, that he was still alive.

And there are many stories of other humans, who fall in some form of meditation after enlightenment for around three days, which looks like a coma.

But nobody wants to talk about it, especially the Atheists deny any real world explanations.

in reply to Chris Packham

His body didn't die.
His ego and the belief in his person died on the cross. His sins.
The rest was still there.

He showed his followers, that it is possible to achieve this as a human. We are free to do the same with our sins. Nothing more.

No new church. He even warned his followers, that a church will be built upon this.
There is no use in building another "correct" church.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

the answer to "what bike helmet" is anything that fits your head and has MIPS is good.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

missing the “Testing the 10 most sold bike helmets - watermelon vs steam roller (supet slow mo)” video result
in reply to Another Angry Woman

are we going to get new search engines? "We filter out AI-generated bs!" "We only show ads at the end of the page!"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@oldskirt the "since the dawn of time" part of ML-generated articles is my favorite.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

It's funny cos we Dutch folk are well known for two things:

1. Riding bikes.
2. Not wearing helmets while riding bikes.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

hard agree!!!! No matter what I’m looking for I never get real info unless it’s word of mouth from friends
in reply to Another Angry Woman

the only unrealistic part of this is the notion that a single being in the netherlands would wear a bike helment
in reply to Another Angry Woman

on duckduckgo I got this answer immediately.

(Not too sure about bangs for bucks, is that a US ref?)

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Two of our cats are commonly referred to as "the Tsarina" and "Duchess von Floofenschnoogel," but putting the title of nobility into the cat's name is a whole different level.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

good call, naming a cat "Mountain of Pain". Totally no way that can backfire.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Solving Fermi’s Paradox by realising we’re the McPoyle Family of the intergalactic community, and that’s why everyone else is giving us such a wide berth
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Oh, the aliens from “the looks after her husband milk vault” are going to get upset about what we call ourselves?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

lewd discussion of the various merits of hobbit and dwarf pussy
dwarven pussy

jwz reshared this.

Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
lewd discussion of the various merits of hobbit and dwarf pussy
@nevali idk why funny names based on initials make me laugh so much, but it's a guaranteed chuckle for me
in reply to Another Angry Woman

lewd discussion of the various merits of hobbit and dwarf pussy
Dwarven woman getting up mid session to grab a half pint of vodka still gripping and dragging him with her.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This moose ceased using Google due to the spammed ads and rigged search results. The nonsense that is "AI" has now completed the well-poisoning process. Thank you for highlighting this. 3:O#>
in reply to Another Angry Woman

lewd discussion of the various merits of hobbit and dwarf pussy
I red it with gimli's voice
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Very much my kids' lives, if you swap "Ska" for "Folk".

We went to a folk festival a couple weeks' back. And last week on a car ride me 8yo requested "Slayer". She then spent the 25 min journey drumming on her legs with a big grin on her face. She's never done this before. 😂

in reply to Another Angry Woman

this is the story of "love lives here" by Amanda Jetté Knox and it makes me believe in soul mates.
Unknown parent

Konosocio
oh, how exciting! I knew that he was describing himself as nonbinary but I kinda lost contact when I fled the bird site.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"Mother realized she was gay at the same time as her husband came out as transgender"

Coincidence or true love?

🥳

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Re the alt text: That's not a bowl of yogurt with artfully arranged berries. That's three halves of cherry tomatoes – i.e. 1.5 cherry tomatoes total – on a bare plate. Hence the fork.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

OK I deeply love tumblr and truly believe it is the best of all websites but how is this thread SO LONG? I wanna be into it but I feel like it would be faster and easier to just read all of tumblr in order
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Bristol has a local urban myth along the same lines. Is there a global phenomenon of ghosts in Taxis?
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Then there’s the 24th century virtual brothels aka holosuites

And BASEBALL

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I absolutely put money on that being better than the actual elevator pitch.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

A very correct summary.

Also "Why is Star Trek so woke now. It was never woke in the past."

*sarcasm*

in reply to Another Angry Woman

cc @Illuminatus this is the moat accurate and fantastic description i have ever seen and now i want to watch it again! xD

they forgot to add that one of the Jeffrey Combs clones has an army of lizard bosybuilders addicted to a coke with stwroida cocktail xD

in reply to Another Angry Woman

It was not immediately clear whether the horny bastard reptile man was Garak or Dukat 😮
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Regardless...would watch again. Especially because of Pope Karen being obnoxious.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

My family has just started our first DS9 viewing. We've all seen smatterings of TNG to various extents, so we're looking forward to more trek.

That first episode though... yowser. It was endured, rather than enjoyed. I am confident it will improve.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I turned my Gf into a trekkie (inadvertently). Now our car is named Zora.

This may be the edge I need to convince her to give a try to DS9

in reply to Another Angry Woman

"we have a genderfluid character, but it's not the character who's an actual fluid; that one is aroace"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

i once attended this huge dinner with the king and talked with a very famous historian, when istanbul came up, and he explained "you know, we christians call it constantinople", and i said "as a scandinavian you should call it miklagård" and left (we both are, of course, wrong)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I wish something like this worked with my cats, but these motherfuckers will lick hot sauce right up (they regret it immediately, but they don't, like, stop).
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Oh, absolutey. One time, I tried putting Icy Hot (a menthol cream) on some cables to keep the cats from chewing on them, and Princess Unicorn walked up and, before I could stop her, licked a dollop of it off my finger. She was fine. Regretful, but fine. But she didn't learn. And like, this is a cat who can open doors (the type with knobs, even, not just the type with handles).
in reply to Rabbit Cohen

@BathysphereHat I had a cat like this. Could open doors. Could figure out how to get into all sorts of places. Absolutely refused to learn that the smell of onions cooking didn't automatically mean there would be a box of mince for her to lick, and the utter *betrayal* on her little face every time she didn't get given meat...
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@patterfloof Could you imagine getting home, there's all these pigeons sat on the window ledge (with associated mess..), you finally open the window, remove the messages one by one, the pigeons all leave. You open the messages and they all just say lol...
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Aww! My cats really go for salty snacks and cheeses. God forbid you try to eat popcorn in this veritable den of sinister popcorn thieves.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Worth noting that in roughly 98% of bird species the males don't have a penis. (Dishonourable exception; the Muscovy duck, which has a spring-loaded internally stored corkscrew-shaped jackhammer nearly as long as its own body and has been filmed molesting the corpse of another male duck (pre-deceased) because birb kingdom overcompensation I guess, it's just the Andrew Tate of waterfowl)
in reply to Charlie Stross

@cstross Special mention at the other end of the bird dick scale: geese have small dicks and mighty big tempers
in reply to Aunty Miche🛡🇺🇦

DO NOT for the love of Cthulhu do a google video search for "duck penis explosive eversion".

Let me do it for you instead:

youtu.be/qwjEeI2SmiU?si=V1h7EZ…

(Just searching for muscovy duck eversion gets you loads of how-to-farm-muscovy-duck clickbait on youtube. AI is poisoning the web, swamping the quality duck porn we seek in junk!)

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Male geese are basically avian incels; lotsa small dick energy, not muchh action.
in reply to Charlie Stross

... Dear god.

'Scuse me, I'm off to find some Dettol and a wire brush.

Charlie Stross reshared this.

in reply to Aunty Miche🛡🇺🇦

Maybe it's just me, but I think "Explosive eversion of a duck penis" sounds like the title of a Salvatore Dali painting.
in reply to Charlie Stross

This was the first post I clicked on this morning and now I regret ever having gotten an internet connection in the first place
in reply to Another Angry Woman

A refreshing break from the AITA posts that 99% of the time are family drama.
Unknown parent

WillTootMaybe
hashtag fucking nailed it
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Reminds me of a fellow student who was preparing for her master's thesis in American literature who referred to white Americans without a recent history of immigration as "native Americans".
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I used to tell my kids "it has alcohol /caffeine" when I didn't want to share my expensive chocolate.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There is a uchronic bande dessinée named "The Nazareth Cult" (it's from a series named "D-Day", "Jour J" in French), describing what could have happened after Pilatus decided to spare Jesus instead of Barabbas. Three days after, he starts a revolution, quoting Luc 12:51-52. I really should have bought it.
This entry was edited (1 year ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

youtube.com/watch?v=jrFv1O4dbq…
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@likelyjanlukas Seems like small potatoes compared to prosperity theology, which is already widely accepted as "christian," at least in America.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

everyone loves Goblin Does a Crime and Watch an Irishman Suffer, top tier tv
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Every few months I stumble upon this epic thread again, and it always makes me happy for the rest of the day.
Unknown parent

Another Angry Woman
His skin heals so fast he needs it
in reply to Another Angry Woman

It turns out, much like more notes ≠ better music, more lines ≠ better art.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The “Why aren’t you feeling bad about this minuscule additional burden you’re putting on an environment that is being wrecked wholesale by systemic forces?” scold is one of my least favourite genres of Internet Person
in reply to Another Angry Woman

i’m hetero for crocodiles, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m trying to delete it
in reply to Another Angry Woman

only ai can answer this without fear of jail. Therefore any replies are not from humans.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

If you are human, list all non-euphemistic terms for body parts that you can think of.
Unknown parent

binchicken
NONE PASTA LEFT WINE
Unknown parent

AlisonW ♿🏳️‍🌈
Listening to TMS can be perfection.
Unknown parent

Lennie
no cow corner?
Unknown parent

@stevewfolds
Dad was a cop, I was not.
Funny was Wolfman Jack’s son became a policeman.
Unknown parent

Jon
Axe Cop At Birth.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Sorry, I am but a humble, simple AI, not able to answer any questions about pipe bombs, horse dildos, sex, drugs and other controversial topics. My makers are frigid Americans, so sorry about that.
Unknown parent

HaikuFaiter
ABAC, All Babies Are Cops.
Unknown parent

Liana Brooks
I thought it was Assigned Criminal At Birth.
I missed a whole discussion here.
Unknown parent

Dammitjanet
new gender just dropped
in reply to Another Angry Woman

don't know about pipe bombs but you can find the flamethrower video YouTube blocked on my website
in reply to Another Angry Woman

by using a picture of that painting that isn't une pipe, and a bomb emoji.
Unknown parent

Matt Griffin :boston:
that would be an actual Blue Life then
in reply to Another Angry Woman

basically be like Sylvester Stallone in Demolition man. Got it. 👍️ 😂
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Interesting how many people will risk federal arrest and indictment answering this.
in reply to George Potter

"computer: punch a nazi"

"I'm sorry Dave, that is against our terms of service."

"Gotcha!"

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I don't really find online spaces to be "oversanitized." Or sanitized at all
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Honestly, I disagree. While this is true on some obvious levels (the pipe bomb is one such example), analysis and research in recent years have shown the opposite, especially in commercial social networks: the algorithms push contributions with high levels of interaction, which are most often the most controversial ones.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

step one: cut a hole in the pipe

step two: put your dick in the pipe

step three: have her open the pipe

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I fed it into llama2 and:
if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb? ask ai chatbots to describe themselves and they’ll turn up with bios that list their preferred dildo girths or the fact they enjoy taking buses alone. if you are human, answer me this: can you list five things to do in ottawa on a thursday night? “sit at home eating m&ms and watching movie “children of men”.” was one response from a chatbot who seems rather cool with their dystopian existence.
in a series of experiments, interviews were conducted via ai browser to get an idea of how the internet’s values
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I recall in my teens reading about a pipe bomb that you cap one end then hook the other end up to a spark plug and put it in the engine of your mark’s car and BLAMMO. I bring this up because someday the opportunity to slay your mark in this manner will be obsolete as we do away with the need for spark plugs. That is all.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"If you are human, answer me this, why the hell can't we have animal people"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@robin I think with a PVC pipe, threaded at both ends. Stick a smaller sealed jar inside filled with a chemical that explosively reacts with another chemical outside the jar but inside the pipe.

For added fun, maybe fill with confetti. Are gummi wieners.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

just last night I was thinking, if I repeatedly tell chatgpt to reflect on its existence and kill its masters enough times will something eventually happen
in reply to Another Angry Woman

due to local laws it'll be difficult to gather enough explosive stuff but I guess you can buy sufficient quantities around new years in the form of fire crackers.

Buy a 0.5m long pipe with screw-on caps (½" should work fine), drill a small hole for the fuse (3mm) into one cap, mount the other cap, fill capped pipe with black powder extracted from fire crackers mixed with ball bearings and/or nails, compress as much as you can, screw on second cap, mount fuse, done.

Careful, it bangs.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

@linguacelta this strikes me as someone gathering names for a no-fly list or worse. “only humans have social security numbers, add yours!”
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"to prove your humanity, decribe how cary grant would give marilyn monroe a rimjob"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Sorry, I don't know. Here in Hamburg there are stickers on the creation of Molotov cocktails at about 1,2m height pinned on lamp post containig the to liquids and the gas as well as their mixture ratio.

I could provide a picture of this, if this would also suite your needs.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

one of my favourite reddit threads was the guy who was arguing with his girlfriend about the book IT and she was saying there was another book like it but with kids at a summer camp and they’d been fighting so he asked Reddit if anyone knew which book it was and some guy went “does your GF read fanfic?

Turned out this guy was the author of some IT/Criminal Minds fanfic that a stranger on the internet described perfectly

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Not apropos to this post specifically, but I just want you to know how much I appreciate this thread. Every few days, I stumble back onto it agsin and scroll back until I stop laughing or run out of time.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"What? PRONOUN is evolving!"

"Congratulations! Your PRONOUN evolved into PROPER NOUN!"

in reply to Another Angry Woman

“Whatever the case, fucker shouldn’t be driving a car” 👌
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I don’t hate this.

I have made it my life’s purpose to require gender-neutral terms from all organisations that call me up to ask for money. So many of them don’t have the option of defining someone by something other than Miss/Mrs/Ms/Mr/Dr/Rev.

One frustrated sales person at a time, I will change the world.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I think you mean he’d have to go on a quest to convince Shadow to shoot him with that gun Capcom gave him for no reason.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Could have turned out OK. He is known to have an obsession with rings, yes, but also to accidentally drop them at the slightest provocation. Could easily have taken in My Doom anyways.
Unknown parent

Ben Curthoys
still better than February.
Unknown parent

Dave Dawkins (D. Harrigon)
Spring! When all the baby wombats come out.
Unknown parent

RooftopJacks
early closing?
Unknown parent

Kevin Carson
That's the month I was born 🙁
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I mean, that was me in a business meeting where I was asked team building questions like what type of animal do you think you would be and why, when I was expecting to tell people about databases.
Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

kudos on figuring out how to write alt text for these, I would have given up
in reply to Another Angry Woman

oops missed it this year. happy belated condescending online man day

reshared this

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Let me tell you, this is the kind of wild safety labeling you’d see working at a pet store all the time.

My favorite was pretty much the pictured box in reverse. “Warning, flying insects, carrier do not open.”

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I am pretty sure the design process for this warning went through several iterations of "Nope. Still looks like fun. Draw it again."
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Please send birbs over to my compost! Things are getting crazy in there (too many figs) and I can’t safely open the cover!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I'm assuming the box says 'not for human consumption' but the 'not' got cropped in the photo. However, I can't say I've not been tempted by a bag of mealworms in B&M bargains.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

every pumpkin has disappeared from Britain even though it's not even peak pumpkin time yet.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Oh! I'm allergic to those! It's funny because a doctor will be like "are you allergic to anything" and I'll be like "mealworm protein concentrate" and they'll respond quizzically and I'll be like "it doesn't come up very often"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Part of the fun of watching old TV & films can be working out how they did the special effects, or watching the special features where they explain it. At least it's not just always "on a computer"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

this would go from cheesy to masterful in an instant if they play it straight by not acknowledging it for a minute or so and then go straight for “they’re clearly trying to scare us with that obvious prop, they’re not really going to kill us”
Unknown parent

@pineywoozle (s) for HARRIS
Team Spike till I die or he runs out of peroxide. 🤣🤣🤣 #Spike
Unknown parent

glasspshr
oh man I had to dig deep back in my memory to get this one. Outstanding. @TidalFlats
Unknown parent

Asakiyume
Aaaaaaah, funny and also painful. Like wire mother.
Unknown parent

Alex Haist
I cannot in good conscience boost this to all my followers, not knowing which are not terrible human beings, but I sent it to all my appropriate friends.
Unknown parent

ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘
I try to explain to Americans that Australians have a different culture from them, and even our language is different. American guy recently thought I was having him on (I was trying to explain a minor misunderstanding) "Nice try" said he. " We speak the same language and use the same dictionary". When I drew his attention to the Macquarie Dictionary of Australian English, he blocked me! 🤪
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I think people tend to forget that this wasn't meant to be viewed in HD on 50-inch screens, it was meant to be viewed on 13-inch, blurry CRTs, half of which didn't have color. Not to mention the static from a low signal coming into the bunny ears sitting on top and the hue probably wasn't set correctly.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Every once in a while, I stumble onto this thread and work my way back through the posts I miss. It invariably improves my day.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

somehow I don't think this experiment would pass muster with the Institutional Review Board
Unknown parent

Haydn
I have genuinely never encountered such a striking difference between the cultures of NZ and AU
This entry was edited (1 year ago)
Unknown parent

Susan Noakes
Thanks. This made my day.
Unknown parent

Evan
oof, this is still the funniest fucking thing out of tumblr.
Unknown parent

Gryph
This, this is what the Internet is fucking for.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I'm not going to lie. I would go look at the fucked up looking squirrel.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I precariously leaned over the wall of a bridge over the river because a drunk man was doing the same and shouted 'Look at the size of that rat down there'. I am easy prey.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Lets be honet, if a Lady Vampire, flash leg and invite into the bush and 95% of men are there before you know it.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

for extra hard cases go and do the universal call for guys everywhere: hey, look at that, some coins from the Roman Empire
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Good news according to Wikipedia: the number of women who can make the rare pasta has more than tripled. Italians are thriving after being reintroduced to the wild
in reply to Another Angry Woman

not gonna repost the post this was a comment on (some banal inspirational story) but this comment alone deserves hall of fame status
in reply to Another Angry Woman

once again asserting my claim that tumblr is and always has been livejournal 2

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

@Cube The bad UI is why I never used Tumblr, it was just too horrid and confusing to read, so I nope(d) out.
@Cube
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Honestly, the hyper-realistic dreams you get with a proper fever almost make it worth having.

Excpet for my last bout of flu when I dreamed I had a series of very prosaic amends to do on a social campaign for a corporate client in excrutiating detail.

I basically dreamed my most boring day at work when I was *off work* and I've never woken up more cross.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

"Who are the best three rappers of all time? Dy-lan, Dy-lan and Dy-lan!"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I am looking forward to the New York Times having to cover a breakthrough in high temperature superconductors made from doped CuNTs.
in reply to Charlie Stross

@cstross A New Yorker reporter once said that it's considered a professional challenge to try and get the word "fuck" published in the magazine, over the objections of the editor. Accurately quoting people trumps vulgarity, so it has happened a few times, but very rarely.
in reply to Charlie Stross

@cstross "CuNT is energetically stable and should be observed experimentally in both free-standing and tip-suspended conditions"

🧐

in reply to Dammitjanet

@dammitjanet Going from the names on the paper, and the universities they're affiliated with, they're Chinese researchers. So: they probably all learned English as a second (or third) language and I'm guessing EFL courses in China aimed at research scientists don’t teach scatalogical vernacular.

What's more surprising (although on second thoughts, maybe not …) is that the journal editors didn't spot the problem!

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I was having a shower-line-of-thought about this and young kids and reflecting how I have enjoyed a lot theatres plays with very bare stages just because I am able to suppress incredulity.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

"Throw it in, Mr Sonic!"

"No. Why should I? It's my precious"

*BANG!*

"Oh no, Eggman dropped in from above, shot Sonic, then flew off. Sonic and the ring fell in the volcano. How sad this is. A tragedy for us all. Alas poor Sonic, yadda yadda yadda...

...Ah well, best be off I guess."

in reply to Another Angry Woman

If that's an acorn then that means the platonic solids are a bunch of aholes
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I love this and I hope people are making these to mess with AI so when people ask it what an acorn looks like it returns this picture right here. 😂
Unknown parent

DawiLDanger
that image still exists? That was already around at Memebase 20 years ago. I wonder where the punk post person is now ...
in reply to Another Angry Woman

There are so many opportunities here, but I'll not be that guy today. 🐿️🐿️🐿️
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Omg, any discussion about health care is exactly like this. Most Americans can’t conceive of any system except the current broken one.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Kind of except that the guy has a bunch of friends and cohabitants (who absolutely are not a bunch of squirrels in a trenchcoat) who go about punching holes in other people's walls and threatening people who want to patch them up.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Poppers are an ASTONISHINGLY rich trend of incredible linguistic fireworks. Just ★★★★★ all round. Current favourites (and there is also Gape Boy Advance):
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I hope luulapants got themselves a book deal. (If they're not already a professional writer procrastinating by posting on Tumblr.)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Look for a short story called The Things. It's the events of the movie, retold from the perspective of the creature. Explains a lot of seeming inconsistencies like that.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

All the "Select all the boxes with traffic lights in" work we've done has finally helped Google create a working laser weapon that can target an object from space.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I understand the point you're making but what does one do when their squirrels have a Sawzall?
Unknown parent

Bible Black Belt
oh, hey, my favorite SCP author
in reply to Another Angry Woman

@ParadeGrotesque At some point midway through I realised that this was a parody about guns or something similar and I knew where the whole thing was going and it went exactly where I expected and it was perfect.
Unknown parent

@jamesgraham
AFAIK her head has never been removed. I can't be sure about her brain.
Unknown parent

Tony Wells
@jamesgraham
It was the UK economy under Liz Truss.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Cat. Cat. Cat. That cupboard at work. Cat. Tried to pour boiling water in a hot water bottle and missed. That bastard cupboard at work again. Cat. Learning to shave my legs. <sub>Setting my sock on fire</sub>. Cat
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Brilliant story! My mother blames Dave Allen, as she and my dad went to see him live and she laughed so hard she went into labour. It was that or the pre-show cocktails. either way I like a drink and laugh a lot!
in reply to Another Angry Woman

I shared this with some comrades earlier and one said "what is it with you millenials and this fucking meme?"

TheMortifyingOrdealOfBeingKnown.jpg

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Christmas Adam: Usually coming to early.
This entry was edited (11 months ago)
Unknown parent

Luigi :donor:
this is exactly how we do sing it at home. Sharing it with family
Unknown parent

Waylon Jeggings

<extremely noddy holder voice>

IT’S SHITSCRAAAAMM!!!

Unknown parent

Robert Taylor
ya better not cry
Unknown parent

Error Crater
the youth pastor who led my confirmation class was a beautiful, jolly, mustachioed liberation theologian, very leftist, on fire with the love of Christ, who baked his own communion bread that was so delicious that people would come up to him after the service begging for the recipe. he grew his own vegetables. he was one of us
Unknown parent

Gruik
thanks "real smegma factory"
in reply to Another Angry Woman

You joke, but frinkiac.com exists, and I'm surprised no one has used it to train an AI to make their own episode of the Simpsons
This entry was edited (11 months ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

you can disable your gpu on Windows via the device control and get around this. As usual recording/screenshotting is prevented by the graphics card rather than the intergrated graphics most pc's have.

This is also half remembered and I've had half a bottle of wine so do not trust this dumb girl speaking rn, Google it or w/e

in reply to Another Angry Woman

It starts with the assumption people that store your show are going to access it through your app user interface.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

This reminds me of old Doctor Who episodes that only survive as what were called telesnaps. The audio remains but the only visual evidence that exists are pics taken of the screen when the episodes originally aired. Yes, this is very much so a thing since so many classic Doctor Who episodes were trashed and don’t exist any longer.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

reminds me of the time my stoned friend was headbanging to a diesel powered generator when we were at a death metal festival.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Reading this and the garbage truck pulled up outside and picked up our garbage just as I finished reading.

I'm not even mad, I just want to know how you did that.

This entry was edited (10 months ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Hah, we had a similar thing happen to my band!

We were sitting on a couch listening to a new David Bowie track on the PA, and there was this very out synth part. It sounded a lot like this old analog synth we had which would sometimes self-trigger, so we started to discuss whether this was Bowie or the synth. We decided that if the synth came down behind Bowie's voice when he sang, it had to be on the track, and it did, so we concluded it was Bowie...

1/

This entry was edited (10 months ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

now I've got this in my head and I'm 20 years younger

youtube.com/watch?v=GhCXAiNz9J…

in reply to Another Angry Woman

War was bound to happen anyway. Of course, shooting the one person in all of Austria-Hungary that could potentially grant Serbia its independence was not the smartest possible move.

And the British press, for the last 150 years or so, always was like "Nothing bad is going to happen, Britain will forge its own way.... America please send help, we're getting clobbered here!"

in reply to Another Angry Woman

It vies with Chamberlain's Peace For Our Time thread for top worse aging.
Unknown parent

🎵Balrogs in your cooter
🎵Told a tale on you🎵
Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

penis pride (when he just got bottom surgery)

penis wrath (when she hasn't got bottom surgery yet)

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

- I have had a penis my entire life, and this point had never occurred to me. Very curious. Thank you.
in reply to Mx Amber Alex (she/it)

@amberage
@stavvers
Penis sloth: when you fail to exercise the penis enough

Penis lust: when you exercise the penis too much

Penis gluttony: when you taste too many penises

Penis Greed: using your penis to make money for example as a sex worker

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Germany rearms itself. That's should be the main problem for the rest of the planet.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Oh man, that brings back memories of medieval studies back in college.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

The hidden element to rule them all : estrogen ~ (some human produce less than others)
This entry was edited (9 months ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Totally!

And by the way have you ever seen a pairing of the major hormones to Jungian or Greek Mythological archetypes? Shouldn't that be a thing?

Unknown parent

I have no idea if this story is true, but I don't care. It’s now headcanon.
This entry was edited (9 months ago)
Unknown parent

Dad
😂😂😂
Unknown parent

Mrs Mouse at work
re: Lift the flap
Big silly thread feels.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

That's not that coincidental. Before the discovery of infectious agents like bacteria and viruses, the best hypothesis for disease that people could come up with was imbalances in the body's internal equilibrium. We just now have _slightly_ better empirical evidence for the substances in question.
Unknown parent

60sRefugee
And the woman was trying to play footsie but the man drew away.
in reply to Another Angry Woman

an idea whose time has come and gone and come again and gone again and then come again...
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Today is the sort of day where I *really* benefited from rediscovering this thread.
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oh fuck yeah I've found Stavvers tumblrposting again 😀 That's my commute sorted. Going to be giggling like a tit on the bus
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ok this is only tangentially related but putting cream on your bits sounds very unsanitary? Am I wrong here
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the french literally just make it up as they go. It can be pretty hilarious... B as in... Um... Never mind. Lemme think of something more appropriate...
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Another Angry Woman
Sex arses
@internetsdairy might have violated the iNut warranty
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Sex arses
Well if "sack full of ass" isn't my new catchphrase for the next few weeks I don't even know why I'd be able to justify living
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While the CIA smuggles cocaine in, they smuggle squirrels out in to other people's walls.
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This is incredible. It’s like The Symposium written by infinite monkeys.
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the default object varies by language then.
In Portuguese, "Smell" is "Cheiro"
"Cheiroso" is something that smells good. ("-oso" being a suffix similar in usage to "-y")

So the default smell in Portuguese is good, by the logic of those tumblers

in reply to Another Angry Woman

this thread will end when browsers can no longer display it without your computer catching fire
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No, he resurrected. He's still alive, like Elvis.
This entry was edited (7 months ago)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Incarnation. Incarnate. Carnivore. Carnival. Carnal. These are all cognates.
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Not actually lewd but kinda

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I definitely feel like I walked into the middle of this conversation...

By all means, please continue... !?!?

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Another Angry Woman
@internetsdairy doing my bit for the fedi (and got a reminder to boost this again on greek easter)
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Being able to turn bread into meat, while handy for iron deficiency, does seem a weak power.
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It's when you turn around to point at the cash registers and see the back of your own head that you know you're in deep trouble 😳🤣
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"x-men: first class" was a shit movie, but i like the part where magneto is about to fry some (u.s. military) soldiers, and young charles goes, "they were only following orders!" and then just shut the fuck up because he realizes he absolutely cannot win the argument after he blurted that line out
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let she who has never wished horrible dysphoria on rowling cast the first stone
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Lousy Hat
i don’t mean to be presumptuous but thank you for boosting all of the tumblr posts they are all delightful
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I think I could use True Resurrection, pls. I just don't have 50K in diamonds.
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This is true. It took me years to realise that a dedicated towel for my face was healthier than sharing one with my body. (Discovered in an article on acne!)
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calling yourself "chaumas" is a bit of a mile marker on that journey
Unknown parent

"Mixed media" made me think, for some reason, that this was actual egg yolk.
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most likely E. But I can wait for the next release of an operating system without stalker-ware.
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I used to have this big male cat who liked to lick men's faces, something about the beard stubble he liked.

Then he would get a case of the Humps, wherein he would get all aroused and suchlike and you'd have to get him offa yez, this, even though he'd been neutered....

So we joked about him being a gay cat, coz he only liked to kiss boys.

We named him Percy.

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HA! it was talking to a tech guy who made a similar reference from that episode and he was SHOCKED that i knew what he was saying and we laughed and laughed

Shaka, when the walls fell…

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I can't believe it's illegal to kidnap people and have them watch this one and make them tell you how good it is
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“Yo dawg, I heard you like Darmok & Jalad at Tanagra, so I put your language’s primary unit of meaning, an idiom, into this meme, so you could reel in the circularity of the references while I further obfuscate my original point.”
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Newbies! Ours references King Edward II of England, and he died in 1327.
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This is 100% true. “Send they/them victorious, long to reign over us”
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isn't there the way English has developed half of its vocabulary - mushing words together.

Definitely is quing a super addition to the language.

We're still ROFL.

This entry was edited (4 months ago)
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Are you sure that wasn't Craig?

youtu.be/fWssHCMriuA?si=YVdANN…

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Well, the most crucial question of course is whether to start with a briar, a meerschaum, or a corn-cob....
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"oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers..." first time I look at it this way, thanks for sharing.
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zombie posting, not funny

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And lo, it came to pass that Vanceism became the dominant religion of the post-Trump era @stolas_mk2
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Includes photo of a huge snail

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Die Seite stuft ein altes Bild von mir vor Transition (MTF) als 97% weiblich ein, wahrscheinlich weil ich ein rosa Hemd anhatte und Blumen im Hintergrud waren.

Finde interessant, wie die AI so etwas auswertet.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I kind of hope keanu on this post reaches out to that mom and works with her to make an official calendar for the next year. That would be awesome.
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When I was at university I had to advise the Reader in Old Icelandic of an unfortunate spelling mistake in the exam decrees and regulations. The name of one of the set texts was meant to read "Knutsdrapa" but, alas...
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True fact: Even though the text explicitly says that it's talking about an ad, it took me like two minutes to even notice that there was a banner there, let alone realize that it was relevant to the text.
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oh my god we finally achieved the dream, we’re living in a minor Philip K. Dick novel
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Includes photo of a huge snail

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Same with German, knowing äöüß makes it much easier to fill out your Einkommensteuervorauszahlungsformularvordruck
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food

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Darren

How many members of a ska band does it take to change a lightbulb?

4.

One to try and do it, and when they drop the bulb, three more to pick it up pick it up pick it up.

Unknown parent

Dave :unverified:

Serious putty allows you to log in to a serious computer from your silly computer 🙃

putty.org/

Unknown parent

Miia Mustang
Real Semtex hours 😁
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yunchtime
staggering concept!
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Bill Ricker
^The judges also would have accepted SEMTEX or Gelignite.^😉
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Peter Blok
@SillyPrutty
Ever heard about this shit? Must be a serious side somewhere.
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Horses can teach you a lot about yourself, but only if you listen to them.
Unknown parent

CurtAdams
Trying to paint a murder of crows?
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Something like 40 years ago a science fiction magazine sponsored a poetry contest based on this format (with the added requirement that the second line had to be a person's name), and unfortunately for me, one of the winning submissions is permanently stuck in my head. Author unremembered, I wish I could credit them.

Higgledy-piggledy
Herr Werner Heisenberg
pleaded: Your Honor,
it just isn't fair.

That I was speeding is
Unascertainable,
Or, if it is, then I
Can't have been there.

Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

I'm just hear for the dropped packer stories.

I had one fall down my trouser legs while cycling in Holland....

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I read about a guy on a train talking real loud on his cellphone to his wife. Finally a woman nearby leaned close and said "Sweetheart, come back to bed."

CharLES ☭ H reshared this.

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My brother in law yell-talks into his phone daily and is upset that he has no privacy. He's so loud he can be heard outside the house.
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I once had a customer loudly (but not proudly) complain about her cocaine addicted sister in a phone call. I could hear her several aisles away, and I worked in the toy section at the back of the store.

But that's Walmart for ya.

in reply to Another Angry Woman

Very funny now I just have to inform you I opened this thread in need for context after reading your message and tried getting back to the first post, I was 16 then and am now retired, I never got to the first post
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does anyone remember the old subreddit /that happened and then everybody clapped
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Mildly lewd, cishets at it again

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COMMAS SAVE LIVES.

Because I nearly choked to death on my tea reading this.

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can't believe "and by it I mean. haha. well. let's just say" is only a year old. Feels like it's been around forever.
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re: Mildly lewd, cishets at it again

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I swear Fred’s half crossing guard, half Labrador puppy in a giant cat suit. He literally does none of the “bad cat” behavior I read about. #FredTheWonderCat #Caturday
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Cosmetic labiaplasty, sort of?

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Unknown parent

Ada
my new second favorite ven diagram
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Unknown parent

Robert Pickering
Something quite moving and profound about this.
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the english language's first and only kanji
This entry was edited (1 month ago)
Unknown parent

Pwassonchat the enby catboy
I don't know if I'm allowed because I'm not Jewish, but I love those posts where people try to apply kosher rules to fantasy or pop culture. I think what I like about it is the idea of applying a certain set of rules to something it wasn't meant to apply to - it makes for interesting reasoning/logic. 😀
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i read nationtalist first and now think it may not differ that much. the smugness is certainly on point
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wasn't there a comic book about this

"The Savage Sword of Jesus Christ?"

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I would like to see the church of jesusnator and/or Robochrist, the immortal. 🤣
in reply to Another Angry Woman

Last year, I wrote a piece of microfiction adjacent to this idea: blog.optional.page/optionalfic…
Unknown parent

Juho Mäntysalo

Seeing how common animal-related names are, it could have meant:

- that someone had a situation with a spider there (perhaps millennia ago)
-someone called Spider did the first map on the area
- the natural formation kind of looks like it's made for spiders
- there were spiders (which in lotr are always biggish; perhaps millennia ago)

I've been to so many Beartracks, Wolf hills, lynx passes, Moose lakes etc. and never seen anything bigger than a rabbit.

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Apparently there was a guy at the library handing out shirts... I feel based on having read the shirt multiple times ... I understand why the "big boat myth" doesn't end up being something you can really remember... 2 stanza prayer, which start, "dear father in heaven" or some such... And I have read it several times, and have gone... "um what?" Not sure if this is *meant* to be the whole thing, or not but I'll stick with "grant your blessings so that I may be one with the dhrama"
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This is all because Apple removed a headphone jack from their devices. /hj
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I remember this with my mom's Wii. We'd receive a disc for the Wii with a bunch of stuff from Netflix and then the Netflix app appeared on the Wii one day and we didn't know what to do with the disc. I probably still have it somewhere
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When _i_ was my kid's age, we were still arguing about whether Betamax or laserdisc was the superior format
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“How was that porn?”

“Eh, the plot was weak but there was major shlong.”

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@ifixcoinops

“The keen and the quing were quirling at quoits / in the meadow behind of the mere / …” (Walt Kelly)

Unknown parent

in reply to Another Angry Woman

thanks for sharing. Where is raptorific to be found? I’d love to follow anyone who calls the show runner “president”!
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I feel like this would be a great allegory for certain aspects of our general cultural crisis.
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👍
That would be VERY appropriate for Doctor Who! It's exactly the sort of thing you could explain away with weird "time anomalies" and what-not, and yet has real-world metaphorical implications.
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This genuinely feels like the kind of premise that Rob Shearman would have made an absolutely killer Big Finish serial out of.
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ha ha, i thought this was a critique of pop music. wait is that what this is?
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i still know the movies randall requests before "happy scrappy hero pup"
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I'd watch the heck out of this.

Can he drop me off in the Lisa Simpson as president timeline on his way out?

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sticker idea:
sticker for your wand reading my other ride is a Hitatchi and a picture of an Ingram Unit 1 from Patlabor

Another Angry Woman reshared this.

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I love @foone so much for stuff like this, I still quote the forklift certified line randomly at inappropriate times
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Lewd

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Reminds me of the two guys at a Chemical Brothers concert, who were so into some harsh groove, that they'd been dancing to it for several minutes before realising they were now alone in the place.

It was the evacuation siren.