I have just had an utterly cursed insight.

Today at the lowest point of my ADHD meds cycle the injustice and moral outrage over what the UK has just done burns like a million suns. It is physically painful.

It’s said that our emotions are disregulated: we either feel nothing or our emotions are dialled up to a million, with basically nothing in between.

Even though it probably won’t affect me, it HURTS.

And it is the nature of ADHD brains to tell us we are terrible people for not fixing the world’s ills. Suspect that’s why I was so compelled to do trans activism.

And why now, before I take today’s Elvanse, there is part my my brain whispering to me that I am a dreadful human being for not doing more, even though I literally gave myself a nervous breakdown.

That part of the brain is called the Default Mode Network. Some of us call it the “DeMoN”.

It’s also why it looks to us like neurotypicals have no sense of morality.

Because they can look at injustice without it hurting and without knowing that they aren’t a total piece of shit for not fixing it. Elvanse has given me that insight.

I am struggling to not explode with rage at what Labour are doing. Yesterday I actually did, until Elvanse took that away.

And I’m craving having it taken away again today because it’s really very painful.

And that I want that means my demon is telling me that I am the literal worst human alive.