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Went out for dinner with Zoe’s parents. Shut down at the end as I tend to do.

Then had to walk back home through the city centre which was a riot of overstimulation and horrific. Just needed to get away so I walked really fast.

Every time I did this before I was like, “what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this?” And I’d get angry with myself and that would often devolve into an argument.

But I now know exactly why I’m like this.

And it isn’t my fault.

And there was no argument.

in reply to Sarah Brown

That sounds like the best thing of your recent diagnosis, learning to accept you are what you are. I’ve never thought WHY I am like who I am, just that I am. And yes I relate to the shutting down…