A thing they don’t tell you when you start amphetamine for ADHD, but they SHOULD, is that what they do is NOT make you function like a neurotypical.
What they actually do is turn you into a person with ADHD with greater capacity.
Sometimes MUCH greater capacity.
And there can be a honeymoon phase when you’re all like, “OMG! I’m saved! I can do all the things now!”
And the risk is that you will use the extra capacity to mask harder and engage in more of the same stuff that was causing burnout.
And then 3-6 months later you find yourself in the same place you started but with an amphetamine habit. Also you can sit still.
I see a LOT of people online who hit the point a few months in where they conclude they have stopped working and start desperately doing meds breaks, long supplement recipes, etc to get back the “functionality”.
And these people, more often than not, also seem to have massive internalised ableism. They never accept their own disability, instead thinking it’s their “duty” to use any means possible to “not inflict my shame on anyone else”.
And using up that extra capacity from amphetamine to do that is a nasty trap because you can’t go back. Ever.
You HAVE to accept what you are.
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Ada
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Kotes
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
neoluddite
Unknown parent • • •Дими́трий
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •i've recently started taking stimulants for AuDHD and experienced an initial swell of productivity. that has since subsided dramtically. i now feel mentally 'stable,' and am grateful for that condition and hope it persists. but, i often crave the empowering sense of energy and enthusiasm i first experienced on the meds.
i have expressed this to my provider, but was clear that i don't want to modify anything at the moment, because, while i believe that i 'function better' in a higher state of arousal, i don't want to risk upsetting the sense of 'stability' i'm now enjoying.
your comments about masking and burnout were eye-opening. i have felt some external pressure to contiue to be as motivated and productive as when i first began treatment. i will monitor myself to ensure i am not over-masking or risking burnout. thank you.
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Sarah Brown
in reply to Дими́трий • •@Дими́трий yeah. My experience after a year is that the mental stability effects remain.
The initial drive? That’s a one and only deal I think. Kinda like a special into promo.
Then you get used to it and realise that even neurotypical people can find mundane things boring.
They just don’t mean what we do when we say “boring”.
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Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur Episodically?
Hell no.
I take it every day. Life is too fucking short.
And as for "got to be something better", amphetamine for ADHD is literally the most effective mental health drug in existence and one of the top ten most effective drugs in ANY field.
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Jason Stuart
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Light
in reply to neoluddite • • •What if street drugs aren't actually fundamentally addictive? They just seem addictive because they're illegal. So the only people who take it are those who really, really, really feel they "need" to.
@FIAR_Light @goatsarah
neoluddite
in reply to Light • • •neoluddite
Unknown parent • • •Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur @neoluddite Non stimulants exist. Speed is the first line drug for a reason; it bloody works.
Leave us and our speed alone in peace, which we get by taking speed.
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur @neoluddite this seems like a weird hill to die on.
It is known to work for 80-90% of the people it treats, which is a proportion many medications can never hope to reach, and with more efficacy than any other psychiatric medicine.
And a lot of the remainder it works for with less efficacy, and a smaller number of them don’t actually have ADHD and are misdiagnosed by a clinician who thinks it’s “phone scrolling disease”.
I mean, it’s up there with ibuprofen and paracetamol for efficacy.
Why THIS medicine in particular, when we are already stigmatised for taking it by many?
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur @neoluddite Look. I’m going to say this once.
Fuck off and take your ableist bullshit about the medication that saved my life with you.
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur @neoluddite and I am not taking fucking reputake inhibitors. Bullshit zombie drugs that they are.
“Sit in the corner and try to scream but you can’t, because you are dead inside. At least you aren’t bothering anyone.”
Fuck that bullshit.
Sarah Brown
in reply to Sarah Brown • •@neoluddite @Sister Lucy Fur “I’ve seen what speed can do”
Yeah. Me too. In particular: House is clean. Blood pressure has gone from grade one hypertensive to low normal. Sleep quality has improved. Alcohol consumption dropped from 30 units a week to ZERO. Diet now includes salad. Weight gone from obese to ideal. Getting more exercise. I no longer hate myself. My tics have stopped. I can hear what people are saying in noisy environments. My driving has improved. THE FUCKING BED IS MADE.
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Sister Lucy Fur @neoluddite you literally called it “a grift”.
Take your ableism and shove it.