genuine question (attempting dialogue not argument): why is it ok to have things like CNC, which is literal pretend rape, or forced feminisation, which often plays on men becoming women who are weak, soft and submissive, for the purposes of kink, but raceplay isn't ok? Like if I'm pretending to rape someone because she likes it, is that somehow more acceptable than degrading someone because of her race and she likes the humiliation?
@BlinkWithAKink CNC is about playing with someone's consensual kinks, the other involves eroticising harmful stereotypes about an entire group of people. esquire.com/uk/life/sex-relati…
speaking as someone who does not have a raceplay kink I just thought that our standard position was: If its in your mind or fantasy then its ok? same with forced bi perhaps? I dunno.
ok. to rephrase then: in the minds of those engaging in it. You're not even going out on a normal dating site and saying you like raceplay. You're on a site basically designed for people with societally-deemed unacceptable interests. I feel like the narrative in kink circles is: "you can't help what you're turned on by and that's ok." except for a few things. Those you can help, don't get turned on by those. double standards?
yeah, seems wrong to fetishise what people are because it’s inherently reductive. You can’t fetishise the myriad ways of existing as a bi person so you are inevitably lumping them into a stereotype.
And I run a mile from people with a trans fetish. Have literally been stopped in the middle of the street by chasers and propositioned. One literally chased me (down Charring Cross Road).
@goatsarah @Mactonex I remember that cinema. What a creepy fucker though, and yeah I get why it was super weird. What is wrong with people that they think this is an acceptable way to interact?! Argh.
There's regular arguments on fetlife that those should be removed, but no success so far...
But I also think that the section title "Fetishes" is part of the problem. If they removed that and just left "into", "curious about" etc, it would be way better, because then things like bisexuality can be there without stirring any controversy.
ps: is it your private account, or can we expect GOTN-content on Fetlife soon? :3
@ralph_himself I'm on there as GOTN, I do have a personal one too but for now I am mainly there to explore/view events/see what's what.
And yeah, I agree that 'into' is better, but it still doesn't really tackle the inherent problems that the adult space has with things like racial fetishisation.
I’m not aware of a way to autoblock anyone unfortunately. FYI a couple of months ago there was some Discourse there about why race play was problematic and exactly nothing got done about it. Tho some of the people who explained that it was bad, actually, got locked out of their accounts.
Blink With A Kink
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Girl on the Net
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It's Time To Confront Porn's Biggest Taboo
EsquireBlink With A Kink
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Girl on the Net
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Blink With A Kink
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Mactonex
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Girl on the Net
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Sarah Brown likes this.
Sarah Brown
in reply to Girl on the Net • •@Girl on the Net @Mactonex that’s a really good way of putting it.
And I run a mile from people with a trans fetish. Have literally been stopped in the middle of the street by chasers and propositioned. One literally chased me (down Charring Cross Road).
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Girl on the Net
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Sarah Brown
in reply to Girl on the Net • •@Girl on the Net @Mactonex it was more weird than it was frightening. Guy stopped me on the road and he’s like, “do you know where a cinema is?”
And I’m like, “Leicester Square”
“Those are all the same kind of cinema”
And then he kinda out an arm either side, trapping me against the wall.
“I am looking for a different kind of cinema. I am looking for a sex cinema”
“Er, I have no idea”
“Do you want to go for a drink?”
At that point, I ducked under his arms and started running. He followed me. I lost him by the time I got to Trafalgar Square.
This was like 1pm on a weekday.
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Girl on the Net
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Sarah Brown likes this.
Mint Spies
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Wilfried Klaebe
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WTAF??!? 😠
@goatsarah @girlonthenet @Mactonex
Sarah Brown
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Mactonex
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gz
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Saffy
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Seems contradictory to me.
ralph_himself
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There's regular arguments on fetlife that those should be removed, but no success so far...
But I also think that the section title "Fetishes" is part of the problem. If they removed that and just left "into", "curious about" etc, it would be way better, because then things like bisexuality can be there without stirring any controversy.
ps: is it your private account, or can we expect GOTN-content on Fetlife soon? :3
Girl on the Net
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@ralph_himself I'm on there as GOTN, I do have a personal one too but for now I am mainly there to explore/view events/see what's what.
And yeah, I agree that 'into' is better, but it still doesn't really tackle the inherent problems that the adult space has with things like racial fetishisation.
TheCurler3
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Girl on the Net
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Zoë K
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