Skip to main content


Is there any urban wildlife as dangerous and aggressive as the British Herring Gull?

It will absolutely fuck you up for a chip.

Apparently Sydney, in Australia, is having problems with aggressive gulls and they’ve employed dog walkers to scare them off. I saw a picture.

In England, the gulls would take the dog. Easily. It was not a big dog.

The Herring Gull would totally win in a fight.

Don’t mess with them. They remember you, and after making you bleed, will make a point of shitting on you every time it sees you afterwards.

If it wants the chip, give it the bag. Honestly, not giving it the chip is risking you getting into some serious “I just killed John Wick’s dog” type shit.

reshared this

in reply to Sarah Brown

Australian magpies. They're not even mercenary enough to do it because they're after your chips, they'll try and take chunks out of your scalp just for being on their patch.

And if you happen to be wearing a cycle helmet, they'll go for knocking you off your bike instead.

in reply to Sion [main]

(The gulls are probably scared of dogs because the magpies have already taught them they're not the top thug.)
in reply to Sarah Brown

*Word*

Here in the Netherlands, those expletivedeleteds will take the fish *right* out of your hand. Seen 'em do it.

in reply to Sarah Brown

They are beautiful creatures. If we hadn't destroyed their food sources and nesting environments, seagulls would have no conflict with humans.
theguardian.com/environment/20…
in reply to Sarah Brown

They're not urban but there's a species of Tasmanian parrot that is absolutely not to be fucked with. They're like crows joined the mafia & got elected mayor.
Unknown parent

FeralRobots
@Uraael
An old girlfriend who spends a lot of time in Venice refers to the Venetian gulls as "the Gabbiano* crime family."
@goatsarah
_
*'Seagull' in Italian
in reply to Alexandra Lanes

And people say the NHS isn't underfunded.
This entry was edited (1 year ago)
in reply to Sarah Brown

a big ugly fecking one stole my wife's bacon roll from her hand before she could take a bite, they are shitehawks.
in reply to Sarah Brown

Don't hold a chip in your hand for too long in Sydney. I've had an Ibis snatch one from my hand while sitting in a park.
in reply to Sarah Brown

this reminds me of that hilarious letter: m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXusaBNc…
in reply to Sarah Brown

you’re not wrong. The other day down by the river I saw a herring gull kill and eat a rat. And then a pigeon. Was fucking terrifying. I mean that’s burn it from orbit territory.
Unknown parent

Sarah Brown

@Inken Paper Thing is (and we have Canada geese in the UK too), they’re basically bluffing. You can run screaming at geese and they will usually flee. Geese are colossal bullshitters who only follow through if they think you are intimidated by them (see also swans).

A seagull, however, will bear a grudge on you and your descendants for generations if you cross it.

in reply to Sarah Brown

@Inken Paper It knows how to make your life a misery and it will fight a war of attrition against you literally for years. Every time you leave the house, it will shit on you. It will dive bomb you with its mates. It will learn your habits and lie waiting in ambush. They are basically mafia.

Geese have nothing in comparison.