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Apropos of a conversation on Reddit, the British etiquette of offering tea/coffee three times, and refusing on the first two, thus:

Can I get you a tea or coffee?

Oh, no thank you.

You sure?

Yes, I'm good.

I'm making one anyway.

Oh go on then.

Now here's the thing: most of my social circle are geeks with some type of neurodiversity going on, and one thing we value is a straight bloody answer.

So it will go something like this:

Can I get you a tea or coffee?

Oh, no thank you.

OK.

I wonder how many thirsty tradespeople I've annoyed in my life?

reshared this

in reply to Sarah Brown

I don't really believe the "three times" etiquette is real. If it was, you'd notice a lot more people offering it to you three times before they accept the answer.
in reply to Tathar is dragons! (public)

@Tathar is dragons! (public) My wife’s grandparents were like this when they were alive. Persuading them you really meant β€œno” to anything was like trench-sodding-warfare.

I found it very tedious.

in reply to Sarah Brown

@Tathar when presented with the "must offer something 3 times to make sure" thing I occasionally after the third time just say "etiquette handshake protocol complete." Much to some annoyance 😁
in reply to Sarah Brown

Trust me, we tend to be more annoyed with ourselves: my former brother in law (a joiner) once told me that you *never* refuse the first cup of tea, because if you do, there won’t ever be another one. It’s a rookie error (and it’s true).

I’ve drunk more than my own body weight in deeply execrable tea over the years, just to keep the flow coming.

in reply to Bad Gardener

@Bad Gardener Actually, yeah. If they refuse the first time I’ll generally assume that this is a contractor who just wants to keep interaction to a minimum and leave them alone.
in reply to Sarah Brown

And either you're completely right, or it's their first day at work.

We all, to be fair, want Schrodinger's client: the one who leaves you completely alone to get on, whilst *at the same time* being ever-present with tea and snacks. They're rare, but they do exist...

in reply to Sarah Brown

I like repeat tradesmen, then I know whether to have kettle/coffee pot on for arrival, whether to get milk in or not... new tradespeople are *terrifying*
in reply to Sarah Brown

I wonder what Mrs Doyle of Craggy Island would have to say on this topic, as far as stereotypes go.
@Sarah Brown
in reply to Sarah Brown

Most trades people up here value a straight single question/answer.

Cuppa?
Please. Tea, one two sugar. You're a darling (I've been called darling more than once. It makes me smile).

Cuppa?
Please. Coffee, black please.

Cuppa?
I'm good for now thanks. (implied ask later).

Cuppa?
I'm good for now thanks, but I left X at home. Can I borrow yours? (Save an hour everyone happy. Tea later.)

in reply to Sarah Brown

the ones around here seem to be trained to answer very unambiguously.
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