The scene: my bedroom, 1989. A portal appears in front of my 16 year old self. I step through.

Me: Hi there. Would you mind stopping that for a second? We need to talk. Here's a tissue for ... yeah.

Also me: Um, er, who are you exactly?

Me: I'm you from the future.

Also me: But you're ...

Me: Shush, look, we need to talk. I know you're having a really hard time in your life now. Some of the stuff you're having to go through at school is really difficult and that's what I kinda have some bad news about.

Also me: You mean...

Me: Yeah, you're gonna have to learn Portuguese. Sorry.