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I woke up and @Zoë O'Connell told me she wanted to stab me and wouldn’t go away until I let her.

And she says she wants to stab me again when I’m tired and hungry.

Should probably have left her where I found her (outside Cambridge police station, hitting her car with a hammer, in 2005).

Unknown parent

Zoë O'Connell

@A_C_McGregor I needed to stab Sarah because her starter motor is jammed.

And hit the car with a hammer to check it’s blood sugar level.

Or maybe it’s hit Sarah with the hammer and stab the car? It’s so confusing.

in reply to Zoë O'Connell

@Zoë O'Connell @Alisdair Calder McGregor My starter motor is definitely jammed. Please send coffee at your earliest convenience.
in reply to Sarah Brown

@A_C_McGregor Update for the fediverse: Coffee has been supplied. Next task: attempt to figure out how to induce water hammer in a digestive tract using coffee as the liquid. I’m sure there’s a Practical Engineering YouTube video on this.