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Coming up to ten months.

I still can’t quite believe what this little pill has done for me.

I am beyond grateful.

A pink, purple and blue medicine capsule lays next to a 1 euro coin

@Claireity
@Claireity

Spot the deliberate mistake.
a screenshot from the Miio electric car charging app showing a Nissan Leaf charging from a CCS 2 charge point.

As a lesbian inclined individual I feel it important that I possess a rivet gun.

Anyway, I now possess a rivet gun.

me, a lesbian, holding a big yellow and black rivet gun

Did not fall in after this. Getting quite pleased with my ability to balance a SUP in silly postures. Also, fun Christmas Day paddle.
Me on my custom red hardboard stand up paddle board, with my ankles under water at the stern and the bow sticking up 20-30 degrees from the horizontal

Oh no! I failed my drugs test!

Oh, wait, I was supposed to.

(C line without T line is positive for amphetamine)

a dipstick amphetamine urine test. If hs positive

I will grudgingly admit that maybe sometimes, on occasion, ADHD can be a superpower.

Step aside for “Speed Makes Me Sleep” girl.

Me, standing on one leg, on a balance board, wearing 4 inch stilettos

Pretty sky post sunset tonight!
A night sky with red, yellow and purple low cloud and a crescent moon

It is with a solemn voice that I must announce that the amphetamine do be like that again.

Would have slept more, but there was this cat …

An Apple health sleep graph showing a 1 hour nap in the afternoon

Swan on River Stort. iPhone 16 pro, pro raw, Adobe Lightroom

The “what have we learned about washing our lisdexamphetamine down with coffee? Oh? Nothing?” Selfie.
Me, looking VERY intense

Amphetamine is clearly known as “speed” because of how quickly it puts you to sleep. Obviously.
a selfie of me lying on a bed struggling to keep my eyes open

Where the hell is Apple getting the idea that 101/72 is “elevated blood pressure” from? Elevates compared to what? Charlie Kirk’s?
an image from Apple Health claiming my blood pressure of 101 over 72 is elevated

Apple Health: “Avoid stimulants before measuring blood pressure as they can raise it!”

Me: 45 minutes after taking enough lisdexamphetamine to fuel an entire army:

A blood pressure monitor reading 97 over 68 with a heartbeat of 77 beats per minute

Elvanse slowly bringing my dopamine and noradrenaline levels up and I’m simply not prepared to abuse adrenaline to survive airports any more.
Me in blue tinted glasses and AirPod Pros with a sunflower lanyard in an airport

Might have mistimed the ADHD meds booster a bit, lads.

Oops

A selfie of me looking extremely wired

Dramatic skies over Hendaye marina at the base of the Pyrenees today!
A picture of boats in a marina with mist covered mountains in the background and dramatic black and white clouds covering the sky

Operation Churro, moving Scarlet to the French/Spanish border, ends after 172 nautical miles and 35 hours at sea. We are exhausted.
The three intrepid heroines standing at night looking shattered in front of Scarlet in a berth at Hendaye Marina

Been at sea for 32 hours and the Pyrenees have just emerged from the haze. We are nearly there.
An image of mountains emerging from hazy cloud over a blue sea, with a ship’s rope cutting diagonally across the image

“What you gonna do when you randomly have 12 months supply of HRT sitting around in your drawer, Sarah?”

“Build Oestrohenge!”

an aerial shot of a reconstruction of the ruins of Stonehenge made out of packs of oestrogen gel, spray, and pills.

This, right here, is what I look like right after the Elvanse wears off.

Sad, isn’t it?

a selfie in which I look rather distressed and have been crying lightly

Trans on Trains, "just taken dexamphetamine" edition.
A selfie of me next to a train window looking maybe a tiny bit intense

Amphetamine plus afternoon coffee always carries a risk of extreme eepiness. I feel a nap coming on.
A very sleepy me lying on the sofa cuddling a small Blahaj

I’m having a custom corset made because I’m worth it. Went for the fit test of the mockup today (the final thing is a sumptuous red with black lace detail).

Anyway, she’s gonna take it in another 2-3cm at the waist and give me more push up in the bust.

Exciting!

Me in a beige mock up corset over an orange skirt.

No, Calum. I don’t. Thanks for asking.
An email asking “Sarah, do you have questions about your prostate cancer risk?”

Selfies. One medicated, one unmedicated.

I feel like I’m leading a weird dual existence. Not two people but one person who has a consistent personality but two very different ways of being.

It’s so odd.

Medicated selfie from today. I look much more composed and with it
Unmedicated selfie from last night. I LOOK messy, but hard to describe quite why

ADHD meds are dangerous! They cause hypertension! You must not take them! - some wankers.

The “hypertension”

a blood pressure monitor showing a pressure of 107 over 73

Breakfast of champions (if your champion happens to be a chaos goblin). Clockwise from left: blood pressure monitor, cereal, water, protein yoghurt, lisdexamfetamine 50mg.
Top down image of my breakfast as described in post body

This blows my mind. My sleep data from Apple Health over the last 6 months.

The green line marks the point I started amphetamines. It doesn’t make a lot of difference.

The red line: I read Sisters of Dorley

A chart showing week by week sleep time averages. It is divided into two by a red line. Before I was routinely sleeping from 3 in the morning until 3 in the afternoon. After I’m sleeping roughly 6 hours consistently at normal hours. There’s a green line before the last three weeks that makes basically no difference.

A graph showing my testosterone sitting at the bottom of the female range all year until it suddenly jumps into the middle this month.

Elvanse LOWERING my BP

It’s supposedly at risk of doing the opposite.

How bloody stressed was I before?

a graph showing my blood pressure decreasing from about 125/85 down to 103/78 in one week

Nice spring day here on TERF Island. Time to break out the hiking dress. Its pockets can fit two bottles of wine!
Me in a blue Decathlon short sleeve hiking dress

May I present the glory that is seat 2A on a Ryanair 737-8200.

They only charge like 30 euros for this.

A picture of my legs stretching out from seat 2A. There is no seat in front of it, so there is about 3 metres of legroom. It is a window seat

Imagine standing in that queue to have your photo taken against a wall while 8 trans women are watching, judging you.

We'd just been in the pub, by the way. Some of us use our time better.

It isn't even the location from the film. That's between platforms 4 and 5 because Rowling is a hack.

A bunch of people standing in a queue at Kings Cross Station to have their photo taken under a sign that says, "Platform 9 3/4"

Yes. I’m drinking 22 year old Bordeaux in the bath. Yes, I’m comfortable with that.
Me drinking Chateau Rauzan Segla 2003 in the bath

Bet that was one PROFOUNDLY expensive rush job.
a screenshot from Flight Radar 24 showing normal activity at Heathrow Airport

This happened within 10 minutes of a single espresso. Just before my mind was racing.

Anyway, less than 2 weeks until my ADHD diagnosis appointment.

a graph from Apple Health showing I slept from just after midnight until around half past six

Want to understand me?

This is me

A pile of books including Welcome to Dorley hall, Single Handed Sailing, The Ultimate Encyclopaedia of Knots and Rooework, ARM System Reference, and a whole lot more in the same vein

Orion over the river Stort in Hertfordshire. iPhone 16 pro, pro raw, handheld, Adobe Lightroom. 10 second exposure.

Sorting my hormones out has given me the trans eternal youth thing back.

I’m 51 years old. No makeup.

A selfie looking rather younger than 51

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