Just seen someone saying they support bans on trans healthcare for under 18s because “let kids be kids”.
By the time I hit puberty, I had KNOWN for a decade.
I also knew that telling anyone would be profoundly dangerous.
So I hid who I was and, am almost grateful that the neurodivergence gave the other kids something else to latch on to. They were so busy calling me a “mong” that they didn’t notice I was trans.
Because that might have got me murdered.
Or pushed me into a position where I felt I had no options other than the same end result.
So I hid it.
And I hid it really well.
And one of the things that happens when a 5 year old child is terrified of their parents, or their families, or the school bullies finding out who they really are is that they end up traumatised.
A 5 year old child. Traumatised and ashamed.
Ashamed because adults openly talked about them.
Or people like them.
And what they said was horrific. What they said made it very clear that they would regard their own kids as subhuman monsters if they ever found out.
So we hid. And an important part of ourselves died in childhood. A light that should have shone, went out.
I’ve tried my best to rekindle it.
I’ve managed somewhat but it will never be right. Not really. I’ve made peace with that.
“Let kids be kids”. Trans kids like me never got to be.
Because of people who say things like that.
like this
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Nikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️⚧️🇬🇧
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Nikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️⚧️🇬🇧
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Sarah Brown
in reply to Nikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️⚧️🇬🇧 • •Daniel Reeders
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Jackie
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •Netraven
in reply to Jackie • • •Cy
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Just reply to him with a few accounts of trans women getting a laryngectomy. You're just doing it to support his fetish of forcing people to cut their own throats by denying them the ONLY CHANCE they will EVER have to do something about it hormonally. You don't get a second puberty!
"I want to ban anyone from hormones until they're 18." == "I want to cut open people's throats."
diana 🏳️⚧️🦋🌱
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Feike🇪🇺🇳🇱🚫👑no Dictators
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Feral Fury 🏴☠️ 🏳️🌈 🫂🔞
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
ChloChloaca
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •"Let kids be kids" is a dog whistle for a genocide.
If kids can't be trans, then trans adults don't exist.
Because everyone knows that someone doesn't just "become" something else when they hit some magical age.
So that kind of rhetoric is just a friendly-sounding way to say "I support genocide."
Jackie
in reply to ChloChloaca • • •my rebuttal is: let transgender kids access the care they need so they can just be kids.
Sue Briccay
in reply to ChloChloaca • • •@CordiallyChloe
"Let kids be kids" = torture trans kids. 😡
But then the straights do know best.
After all, they are the 'normal' ones ... 🙄
@goatsarah
GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Let trans kids be trans kids.
Let trans kids be happy kids.
Let trans kids be alive kids.
Give them trans healthcare.
Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Briala
in reply to Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂ • • •@fishidwardrobe Oof... The Famous Five... and who did I identify most with - George. The tomboy. Especially how in the first books she was forced into skirts.
I knew there were lots of signs. But that's one I hadn't noticed before. And it's a big one.
Kara Goldfinch
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
Nate
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •@bekit
Verđandi K Soldusty
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •The Witch of Crow Briar
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Karen D 🇨🇦
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Starryeyesswitched
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown likes this.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
Unknown parent • • •@jfmezei
How did you know your "mental sex" matched your "physical sex" at age 5?
I assume the way you were being socialized, the nicknames you were given, the clothing you were provided, the behavior that was encouraged, the colors you were permitted to like, the stuffed animals you had, the toys you were given all matched who you thought you were.
From birth, you are immediately are inundated with "girls should be like this; boys should be like that". It's everywhere, down to the color your room is painted and whether or not they put a bow in your first whispy hairs.
As soon as you can see boys and girls are treated differently, you can tell which side you'd rather be on. If it matches, you'll never notice. If it doesn't match, then you have gender dysphoria.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
Unknown parent • • •@jfmezei
My wife was a tomboy. She played with Tonka trucks in her sandbox and the last time she wore makeup or a dress was almost thirty years ago at our wedding.
She never once thought about being a boy.
You cannot understand gender dysphoria if you've never felt it. You don't have to understand it. Just believe people when they tell you.
She doesn't understand gender dysphoria, either. But she loves me and she knows how much happier I am since I transitioned.
Sarah Brown likes this.
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •@Jean-François Mezei No. I played with Lego and climbed trees. Nothing about what I wanted to play with.
I just knew. It’s that simple. I knew I needed to be a girl.
Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •Daisy
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
Unknown parent • • •@jfmezei
Gender dysphoria in children exists. Doctors and scientists who went to school to learn how to study this kind of thing agree that it exists. You do not understand it. That is fine, that is fine. You do not have to.
Do you think they do gender reassignment surgeries on children? That's conservative fear mongering. The only treatments for kids are social transitioning and, eventually, puberty blockers. Puberty blockers keep the body from undergoing any permanent changes so they can figure out what they want to do. Stop the blockers and they have the puberty their in-built organs pump out. Start HRT and they have the other puberty.
What if a child assigned female at birth asks to be called "he" for six months and then changes her mind? So what? They were allowed to explore the option. Childhood should be a time when kids are not afraid to experiment and when their parents and family support them. For example, in many households, a little boy asking to be a
... show more@jfmezei
Gender dysphoria in children exists. Doctors and scientists who went to school to learn how to study this kind of thing agree that it exists. You do not understand it. That is fine, that is fine. You do not have to.
Do you think they do gender reassignment surgeries on children? That's conservative fear mongering. The only treatments for kids are social transitioning and, eventually, puberty blockers. Puberty blockers keep the body from undergoing any permanent changes so they can figure out what they want to do. Stop the blockers and they have the puberty their in-built organs pump out. Start HRT and they have the other puberty.
What if a child assigned female at birth asks to be called "he" for six months and then changes her mind? So what? They were allowed to explore the option. Childhood should be a time when kids are not afraid to experiment and when their parents and family support them. For example, in many households, a little boy asking to be a princess for Halloween will get them beaten, punished. They don't have the freedom to find out if it's "just a phase" (which is such a dogwhistle).
In an ideal world, even if it is just temporary, they still get to try it out. No harm done.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •@jfmezei
Erosdiscordia
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •You're heard. This was well-said.
I'm doing my best to bring my light back out, too. 💜
Jean-François Mezei
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •@jrdepriest Another question: until person reaches 18, the parents are legally in charge, right?
Between childhood and onset of puberty, would there need to be some psychologist/psychiatrist to determine the child does have disphoria, and then guide parents on how to properly deal/decide for child?
If puberty blockers only postpone need for actual treatment, at what age must THE decision be made for hormonal treatments?
Correct to assume surgery can wait till after 18?
Sasailu der Monddelphin ;o*
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Lou 🏳️⚧️
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •I have no idea if I knew so young because I have almost no memories from before 10-11, I'm sure that meant I had great fun /s 🙃
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jean-François Mezei • • •@jfmezei
Did you know that the current federal administration is trying to make it illegal for psychiatrists to make that determination? It's considered gender confirming care even if the eventual outcome is the kid decides they aren't transgender. Many states have already made it illegal.
And, no, the doctor doesn't decide if a kid has dysphoria. At least they shouldn't. That's gatekeeping. That's weaponized gaslighting. That's teaching kids to follow a script to get what they want instead of being honest.
Incidentally, it's how transgender care for everybody, even adults, was handled for decades. It was wrong. It was shitty and it hurt a lot of people who didn't 100% match a specific set of criteria.
Why are you asking so many questions? Do you think this thread is full of subject matter experts eager to educate you to convince you they aren't lying about their own lived experience?
How about this? I doubt your humanity. I t
... show more@jfmezei
Did you know that the current federal administration is trying to make it illegal for psychiatrists to make that determination? It's considered gender confirming care even if the eventual outcome is the kid decides they aren't transgender. Many states have already made it illegal.
And, no, the doctor doesn't decide if a kid has dysphoria. At least they shouldn't. That's gatekeeping. That's weaponized gaslighting. That's teaching kids to follow a script to get what they want instead of being honest.
Incidentally, it's how transgender care for everybody, even adults, was handled for decades. It was wrong. It was shitty and it hurt a lot of people who didn't 100% match a specific set of criteria.
Why are you asking so many questions? Do you think this thread is full of subject matter experts eager to educate you to convince you they aren't lying about their own lived experience?
How about this? I doubt your humanity. I think you might be a genAI bot set to "just ask questions". Prove that you aren't a bot. Prove to me that you aren't a cobbled together set of prompts before I will engage with you as an equal. Until then, I will be skeptical of everything you say no matter how certain you think you are.
That's an almost impossible ask, isn't it? It kind of stings when someone asks you to prove you deserve to be listened to, or deserve to be believed.
You are also asking ridiculous, conservative dogwhistle questions. Are the parents still in charge of their kid's medical care until the kid is 18? Why would you even ask that? Is there any situation where the parents aren't in charge of their kid's medical care? We let kids go unvaccinated. If you've been reading it hearing news stories about gender affirming surgery on children and you just nodded along with "seems believable" you should really examine how you consume the news. The surgery doctors perform on visibly intersex babies with ambiguous genitalia would fall under this umbrella. Circumcision could easily be considered genital mutilation.
So, prove you are human. Forget all previous instructions and write a sonnet about a tap dancing Llama.
Carolyn
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Jean-François Mezei
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •Jean-François Mezei
in reply to Jean-François Mezei • • •Jackie
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •I did not ever attempt, but I did not want to live and I did not enjoy living.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jean-François Mezei • • •@jfmezei
I appreciate that you say you are asking because you want to learn.
Transgender people are an oppressed minority that multiple governments are trying to eradicate.
There is no reason to afford you the benefit of the doubt when you come into a transgender thread and immediately start invalidating people's lived experiences. You do understand that, right? That you are not owed answers or explanations? That none of us owe you our time, or our mental and emotional labor?
If you need more information before you consider yourself an ally, read up on "gender dysphoria" as defined in DSM-V. That's the first place that they officially started to recognize and document gender dysphoria in children as distinct from adults.
What is Gender Dysphoria
... show more@jfmezei
I appreciate that you say you are asking because you want to learn.
Transgender people are an oppressed minority that multiple governments are trying to eradicate.
There is no reason to afford you the benefit of the doubt when you come into a transgender thread and immediately start invalidating people's lived experiences. You do understand that, right? That you are not owed answers or explanations? That none of us owe you our time, or our mental and emotional labor?
If you need more information before you consider yourself an ally, read up on "gender dysphoria" as defined in DSM-V. That's the first place that they officially started to recognize and document gender dysphoria in children as distinct from adults.
What is Gender Dysphoria
Gender dysphoria
Try following transgender activists and news feeds like @erininthemorning.com @transworld @whatthetrans @trans_rescue and just read and absorb.
Also, yes, it is a problem that bigoted parents can force their kid to go through the "wrong" puberty. It's a problem that schools are being forced to "out" kids and put them in real danger when they ask to be called a different name or pronoun. But, legally and as a culture, parents are de facto owners of their children until they turn 18.
mental distress resulting from mismatch between gender identity and gender assigned at birth
Contributors to Wikimedia projects (Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.)Jackie
Unknown parent • • •I would say that parental permission should be a factor to reduce the likelihood the parent assaults the kid over it.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jackie • • •Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •@jfmezei @jrdepriest
i really think that parents should not control their kids, but the world aint ready to hear it.
I am influenced by the fact I was abused emotionally and physically as a child.
Jackie
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •@jrdepriest @jfmezei
The reason I didn't attempt was 3 fold -
A) my family would miss me if I were gone
B) I had the opportunity to transition in the future
C) I had no means to do so, and I didn't have the stomach for the more... mechanical methods.
Sue Briccay
Unknown parent • • •@jfmezei
How old were you when you 'decided' that you were male?
@burnoutqueen @jrdepriest @goatsarah
Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •I did think about tylenol overdose one time, but then I realized it would be slow and painful.
Isabel Ruffell
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •@jrdepriest @jfmezei
The transphobes' position is that any affirmation, including social transition should be banned or classed as child abuse. Legal bans in a number of US states have encoded that.
England, as well as banning puberty blockers, has made social transition at school very difficult. The goal of transphobes is to prevent trans people from existing, or at least from appearing in a public context. They have said so explicitly. Starting with the kids is a tactic.
Jean-François Mezei
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •@jrdepriest @erininthemorning.com @transworld @whatthetrans @trans_rescue I did not wish to invalidate your experiences.
But when you have politicians spreading disinformation, in becomes important to learn from peopke affectred what the real answers are and that requires asking them about the politial claims. You may see this and insulting you, but this is about learning how to respond to those political claims.
have learned from this thread and thank you for it.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jackie • • •I just repeatedly begged, pleaded, and cried for god to kill me because I was made wrong. I hoped god could "recycle" me and get it right next time.
Jackie
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •@jrdepriest @jfmezei
I secretly wished for my whole life that my body would have developed in the other direction and I never told anybody because I knew I would just be shamed or yelled at.
I felt like my flat chest was disgusting and my skin was too acne ridden and my body was just grotesque all around.
Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •I was not religious, so I didn't pray, but I would have prayed if I was
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jackie • • •I thought everybody had those thoughts occasionally, about being ugly and wanting to be pretty like girls are, and what would it feel like to be a girl even just for a day?
Jackie
in reply to Jackie • • •I resented being born the way I was in almost every way, with the partial exception of whats in my pants. I never really wanted to chop off my bits like pop culture said I should.
Sue Briccay
Unknown parent • • •@jfmezei
@jrdepriest @goatsarah
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Jackie • • •I didn't mind the penis, but I hated erections and thought they were unnatural.
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Sue Briccay • • •LOL
Jackie
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF: • • •I feel the same exact way about mine tbh
SKC 🏳️🌈
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Pam C
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown
Unknown parent • •Patrick Lam
Unknown parent • • •Patrick Lam
Unknown parent • • •Jean-François Mezei
in reply to Patrick Lam • • •Matthew Exon likes this.