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in reply to Sarah Brown

I wish I didn't have to lose my childhood because I had to manage the feelings of mentally ill adults who never learned to manage their own emotions.
in reply to Jackie

I'm lucky in that my spirit was more dormant than actually extinguished.
in reply to Jackie

My og puberty was one of the worst things that happened to me. And it directly coincided with me being emotionally and physically abused by my parents (particularly my birth mother)
in reply to Jackie

@burnoutqueen same. Leaving them all behind permanently and speaking to a therapist helped a lot, but ya. I’d still rather just tell people I’m not human, so they can dismiss me in advance as it’s easier when I know no one is thinking about me.
in reply to Sarah Brown

Just reply to him with a few accounts of trans women getting a laryngectomy. You're just doing it to support his fetish of forcing people to cut their own throats by denying them the ONLY CHANCE they will EVER have to do something about it hormonally. You don't get a second puberty!

"I want to ban anyone from hormones until they're 18." == "I want to cut open people's throats."

in reply to Sarah Brown

I knew at a very young age what would happen if I told anyone. There were several times at a young that I was seconds from coming out. Staying in the closet saved my life as I would find out when I did come out to my parents decades later. What would have happened is something I think about a lot. They still try when given the opportunity and my safety is more important.
in reply to Sarah Brown

let's not discriminate on the grounds of sex, gender, or one's morale. Especially children, to whom we, the society, deny the full power of autonomy to; but appearantly we DO held children accountable for the decisions we deny them autonomy over.
in reply to Sarah Brown

"Let kids be kids" is such a meaningless phrase. The reality is the vast majority of those saying it would never do what it says either. So its a way of spotting hypocrites. The reality is its extremely rare to find any adult, parent or otherwise, who would let a non-adult have any measure of freedom. Thank you for sharing your story.
This entry was edited (3 days ago)
in reply to Sarah Brown

"Let kids be kids" is a dog whistle for a genocide.

If kids can't be trans, then trans adults don't exist.

Because everyone knows that someone doesn't just "become" something else when they hit some magical age.

So that kind of rhetoric is just a friendly-sounding way to say "I support genocide."

in reply to ChloChloaca

@CordiallyChloe
my rebuttal is: let transgender kids access the care they need so they can just be kids.
in reply to ChloChloaca

@CordiallyChloe

"Let kids be kids" = torture trans kids. 😡

But then the straights do know best.
After all, they are the 'normal' ones ... 🙄

@goatsarah

in reply to Sarah Brown

Let trans kids be trans kids.

Let trans kids be happy kids.

Let trans kids be alive kids.

Give them trans healthcare.

:blobcathuggies:

in reply to Sarah Brown

people who say "let kids be kids" have forgotten what it was like to be a kid. they mean "let kids be like in The Famous Five" or, worse, "let kids be invisible to me".
in reply to Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂

@fishidwardrobe Oof... The Famous Five... and who did I identify most with - George. The tomboy. Especially how in the first books she was forced into skirts.

I knew there were lots of signs. But that's one I hadn't noticed before. And it's a big one.

in reply to Sarah Brown

I'm sorry that was your experience. The best version I know was a coworker's grandchild. They told their parents after junior kindergarten they believed they were really a girl. Over the summer everyone got their shit together and the child went back to senior kindergarten as a girl. Their classmates at school got over the switch in about ten minutes and they've been a happy, contented kid ever since. The way it should be.
Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jfmezei
How did you know your "mental sex" matched your "physical sex" at age 5?

I assume the way you were being socialized, the nicknames you were given, the clothing you were provided, the behavior that was encouraged, the colors you were permitted to like, the stuffed animals you had, the toys you were given all matched who you thought you were.

From birth, you are immediately are inundated with "girls should be like this; boys should be like that". It's everywhere, down to the color your room is painted and whether or not they put a bow in your first whispy hairs.

As soon as you can see boys and girls are treated differently, you can tell which side you'd rather be on. If it matches, you'll never notice. If it doesn't match, then you have gender dysphoria.

Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jfmezei
My wife was a tomboy. She played with Tonka trucks in her sandbox and the last time she wore makeup or a dress was almost thirty years ago at our wedding.

She never once thought about being a boy.

You cannot understand gender dysphoria if you've never felt it. You don't have to understand it. Just believe people when they tell you.

She doesn't understand gender dysphoria, either. But she loves me and she knows how much happier I am since I transitioned.

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Sarah Brown

@Jean-François Mezei No. I played with Lego and climbed trees. Nothing about what I wanted to play with.

I just knew. It’s that simple. I knew I needed to be a girl.

in reply to Sarah Brown

Just relate to this so much. Never could quite put it into words. So thank you. My family were not so abusive nor were they violent but the shame. And guilt. I have recently been thinking about the lack of a childhood - in spite of best intentions. I have found I have almost no memories from childhood. My partner in spite of a very abusive upbringing has far more childhood memories. "best intentions" is my invention and not appropriate. Yet I still call their denial of my existence that. Thank you for sharing.
Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Sarah Brown

You're heard. This was well-said.

I'm doing my best to bring my light back out, too. 💜​

in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest Another question: until person reaches 18, the parents are legally in charge, right?

Between childhood and onset of puberty, would there need to be some psychologist/psychiatrist to determine the child does have disphoria, and then guide parents on how to properly deal/decide for child?

If puberty blockers only postpone need for actual treatment, at what age must THE decision be made for hormonal treatments?
Correct to assume surgery can wait till after 18?

in reply to Sarah Brown

🫂
I have no idea if I knew so young because I have almost no memories from before 10-11, I'm sure that meant I had great fun /s 🙃
This entry was edited (2 days ago)
in reply to Jean-François Mezei

in reply to Sarah Brown

Someone should show those folk the suicide stats. Allowing kids to be kids means allowing trans care.
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest I am asking questions because I want to learn. For instance you confirmed that they consider psychiatric evaluations as a kid to be part of “gender affirming care”. But most would interpret their proposed bans as only banning surgery or hormones. I asked about parents because it is often said parents often have problems dealing with a trans kid. So if they can block treatments, this becomes issue.
in reply to Jean-François Mezei

@jrdepriest the MAGA types work with disinformation to create artificial culture wars. Debunking those false claims becomes very important. But if you accuse anyone trying to better understand of being conservative dogwhistle, you won’t gain many allies.
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest @jfmezei I would go as far to say that people under the age of 18 should be allowed to use hormonal replacement therapy if the need for it can be demonstrated
in reply to Jackie

@jrdepriest @jfmezei in the most extreme cases of gender dysphoria, people actually make suicide attempts.
in reply to Jean-François Mezei

Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
Jackie
@jfmezei @jrdepriest
I would say that parental permission should be a factor to reduce the likelihood the parent assaults the kid over it.
in reply to Jackie

@burnoutqueen @jfmezei the only reason I didn't kill myself is because I was still a Christian who believed suicide was the only unforgivable sin.
in reply to Jackie

@jfmezei @jrdepriest
i really think that parents should not control their kids, but the world aint ready to hear it.

I am influenced by the fact I was abused emotionally and physically as a child.

in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest @jfmezei
The reason I didn't attempt was 3 fold -

A) my family would miss me if I were gone
B) I had the opportunity to transition in the future
C) I had no means to do so, and I didn't have the stomach for the more... mechanical methods.

Unknown parent

in reply to Jackie

@jrdepriest @jfmezei
I did think about tylenol overdose one time, but then I realized it would be slow and painful.
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest @jfmezei
The transphobes' position is that any affirmation, including social transition should be banned or classed as child abuse. Legal bans in a number of US states have encoded that.

England, as well as banning puberty blockers, has made social transition at school very difficult. The goal of transphobes is to prevent trans people from existing, or at least from appearing in a public context. They have said so explicitly. Starting with the kids is a tactic.

in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest @erininthemorning.com @transworld @whatthetrans @trans_rescue I did not wish to invalidate your experiences.

But when you have politicians spreading disinformation, in becomes important to learn from peopke affectred what the real answers are and that requires asking them about the politial claims. You may see this and insulting you, but this is about learning how to respond to those political claims.

have learned from this thread and thank you for it.

in reply to Jackie

@burnoutqueen @jfmezei
I just repeatedly begged, pleaded, and cried for god to kill me because I was made wrong. I hoped god could "recycle" me and get it right next time.
in reply to J. R. DePriest :EA DATA. SF:

@jrdepriest @jfmezei
I secretly wished for my whole life that my body would have developed in the other direction and I never told anybody because I knew I would just be shamed or yelled at.

I felt like my flat chest was disgusting and my skin was too acne ridden and my body was just grotesque all around.

in reply to Jackie

@burnoutqueen @jfmezei
I thought everybody had those thoughts occasionally, about being ugly and wanting to be pretty like girls are, and what would it feel like to be a girl even just for a day?
in reply to Jackie

@jrdepriest @jfmezei
I resented being born the way I was in almost every way, with the partial exception of whats in my pants. I never really wanted to chop off my bits like pop culture said I should.
in reply to Sarah Brown

and the fucking bans never even stop at 18, the aim was always total ban. So the talking points for the below 18 ban really evaporate quickly
in reply to Sarah Brown

I knew from age 3 or 4, even though I didn't know the terminology. I knew enough though, to keep it secret, or risk Aversion treatment.
Unknown parent

Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
Patrick Lam
@jfmezei @burnoutqueen @jrdepriest I don't know what the actual decisions are in Québec but the principle is "Children 14 to 17 years old (but under 18) can make decisions on their own about care necessary for their health," so this whole under 18 thing should not matter if they are interpreting the principle correctly.
Unknown parent

mastodon - Link to source
Patrick Lam
@jfmezei @jrdepriest @burnoutqueen for medically necessary interventions; governments could conceivably meddle there, but that is not the current target of the Quebec government as I understand it.
in reply to Patrick Lam

Due to complaints, I apologized for having wanted to learn because apparenrtly it is called "sealiioning" when one wants explanations and complaints were made. My posts appear gone already, but would have deleted them dueto complaints. I still learned some stuff.
This entry was edited (3 hours ago)