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Every so often I encounter someone who is very stridently advocating for understanding and sympathy for narcissists, to the point of sacrificing yourself to give them what they crave: supply.

And every time I smile, nod, and then instantly file them in the same mental drawer as “psychotic tiger in a bad mood”.

Never believe their bullshit, ever.

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friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Sarah Brown

@Llwynog yeah. Once you’re wise to their shit, you can defend yourself.

But if you don’t understand, and they’re in a position of power over you, that’s when they can do profound damage. A lot of us who were raised by them evolve coping strategies, but when you’re a kid having to defend yourself against the person who is supposed to be nurturing you, it causes life long damage.

We also tend to be on high alert for them, constantly. If someone behaves in a way that triggers my narcissist response, it’s instant fight or flight, with a heavy dose of grey rocking.

This has actually served me quite well, but it’s a fucked up superpower to have.

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friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Sarah Brown
@Llwynog I’m not sure I can put it into words. There’s usually something “off” about them. Very self absorbed as you note, and feeling the need to constantly have someone or something ready to blame, even for stuff that doesn’t actually require it.
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friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Sylvia Knight
When small things all align to make them the best / most hard done by person in the world. If it is a pattern then you can guess they are lying or just making stuff up to fit the narrative. For example Brenda said she wanted to move house when she retired because she didn’t know anyone in the village but my dad disagreed. Then he went into a care home but she couldn’t move house then because it would be too awful to abandon the friends in the village she’d known her whole life.
in reply to Alexandra Lanes

With her mild dementia these days, not even from one sentence to the next. It makes it very obvious.