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I witnessed another trans person's deed poll today. A bit more involved, necessitating a trip to the solicitor, because he's 14, but nevertheless it reminded me of the surreal socially distanced signing dance I did during lockdown for my deed poll with @Zoë O'Connell and @Sarah Brown
It didn't have to be me that signed -- it could have been anyone who knew him and his parents -- but I felt privileged to do it, passing on some part of the support other trans people gave me.
Me: Chatty as all hell, wants to babble at the world constantly
Also me: Terribly shy about one-on-one conversations, hasn't used Telegram regularly in months
Also also me: HI HELLO GIVE ME ATTENTION
Also also also me: NO NOT LIKE THAT
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I first wrote about having a gender other than "male" or "female" in 1994 (as far as I can trust dates on old files.)
That's 29 years ago.
I've transitioned to change my outward appearance since then, but the same gender identity has remained at the core of it.
People were still scraping around for words to describe this experience in English back then. The web as something the general public, for such of the general public as had internet access, was less than a year old. Eventually it became something where we could connect, sort out our terminology and titles, raise a flag.
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So now I can say, I'm agender, one of the many expressions falling under the non-binary umbrella. And I've known and identified (although not necessarily using that word) for nearly 30 years. And I'm in my 50s now.
Being non-binary is not a new thing. It's not a fad, not just something "the kids" are into.
We have always been here.
(Although it usually feels like I'm having to carve out the elder non-binary pathway on my own.)
🧵 2/2
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About myself, I still get that sinking feeling you get when you first walk into an overwhelmingly messy room. Over a decade of talking therapy didn't help. I'm just trying to help now and find out what could be useful to do and be, and not worry too much about it.
“I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved.”
― Soren Kierkegaard
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I also don't want to blunder around with the privilege of my upbringing and trample on things, which I'm fearful of. I've made lots of mistakes and I don't trust myself any more. I just don't have a good brain for this kind of stuff. It's too cotton-wooly.
I'm really pleased that there are more words and groups today, and people who can find their place. On the other side, the political landscape is much worse. It's been wonderful seeing so many of my friends grow.
🧵 2/3
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I was going to write some more, but I'm doing the write, delete, think, write, delete thing, which is basically where I've been for a long time in my head, so I'll stop.
But even though I don't write or do much about it, you and the other of my friends absolutely have my support, and it is a comfort to me to see that it is possible for other folk to work this stuff out, and I'll do my best to support.
🧵 3/3
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@chiffchaff What decades (on and off) of therapy have done for me, although I've only comparatively recently realised it, is bring focus on one corner of the messy room of my head, and help sort that out in such a way that it *stays* sorted. It *is* too overwhelming to sort out in one operation, and trying to do so, or thinking that this is what you're going to achieve, is just going to lead to failure and more clutter.
(Talking generally here. Gender was just one corner of the room for me, which I mostly managed on my own and just needed the professional help to make sure it wasn't going to get messy again.)
yup! I first identified myself as "not a boy, not a girl, but both and neither" in 1997 or so, though I didn't dare express that truth to anyone else.
Now there are thriving communities of us, and I've got labels to describe myself that I'd never heard of before: non-binary, genderfluid, bigender.
But I'm still that same person. I was always here, I've just stopped hiding.
@Anya_Adora Oh, I cut out the thing about the effects of colonialism when trying to get it down to a reasonable length, didn't I?
Yeah.
There were words there (like "epicene" -- that one's not survived) but under the weight of cishetetc normativity and without a ubiquitous internet, it was difficult to find each other, to find the community that could even safely talk about what it meant to be like us, to find the commonality (and differences) that would let us develop a language beyond the medicalising, the othering, and the purely personal.
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Please, please, please YouTubers of the world.
"The essay" is an educational tool, not an engaging presentation format. That "paragraph intake of breath" is so depressing. There's so much great material in these things, but I do wish people would study public *lectures*.
For millennia people have been perfecting it in all kinds of varieties to suit personalities, access, etc.
"Like a video message from someone being kept hostage by an evil history postdoc" is one of the *less* successful.
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Mental Health
My mental health remains somewhat wobbly, as it has been for a month or two now. There have been two absolute low points, one "head buzzing so much with despair" and one of the form where the world is a treacle of minor chords and even being present feels like an effort that can't be guaranteed. In between it's been recovery and walking a sort of narrow path on the edge, as if solid rock can be felt to one side and an abyss to the other. A forgetfulness of joy, too, as if I have lost the object permanence of love.
I have CBT starting next month. I have an appointment with my GP potentially to adjust antidepressant doses. I've got the endocrinologist tomorrow. The things I can do apart from just hanging on, I am doing. (To be clear, I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else.)
Caster Semenya won her case in the ECHR yesterday. Only the legal summary is currently available in English: “Discrimination against professional athlete with differences of sex development who was required under non-State regulations to lower her natural testosterone level to compete in women’s category in international competitions: violation”.
The judgment in French is at hudoc.echr.coe.int/%7B%22appno… ; I’ll toot the official English translation when it appears
David Tennant, of Dr Who fame, apparently said some pro trans things and now the TERFs are going after him on Twitter. His response is that he isn't worried because, and I quote, "I'll be fine, Terfs can't climb stairs"
I want that on a T-shirt. No, I NEED that on a T-shirt!
ETA: Apparently it was a parody account that said the stairs line. I still want it on a T-shirt.
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Am having trouble so far finding an explanation/breakdown of what "terfs can't climb stairs" means exactly.
Am not posting this looking for enlightenment specifically. Though it would be nice & appreciated, of course.
Increased Seismic activity in Iceland. 🇮🇸
Not erupting... Yet. But some webcams are ready.
eruption.acme.to/
#Iceland #Eruption #Seismic #LiveStream
Stay tuned
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The Grand Canal, Venice. A #slitscan from Casino di Venezia to Ponte delle Guglie, using a vaporetto (waterbus) as a slow, steady scanning support, using a suction-cup camera mount inside the window.
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Since I managed to find it and someone elsenet was asking about the “U.K. trans asylum in NZ case”…
AL (United Kingdom) [2017] NZIPT 502911
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Some trans women breastfeed and conservatives have a LOT of feelings about that, which they're determined to make all of our problem.
For Assigned today I wrote about the latest right-wing meltdown over trans people doing a thing, compared it to coverage of cis adoptive mothers using the same method for inducing lactation trans moms do, and dived into the science of lactation (which for me is always the most fun part). #trans #journalism #science
assignedmedia.org/breaking-new…
Trans Women Breastfeeding: Behind the Conservative Meltdown
The Newman-Goldfarb Protocols are known to help people who didn’t give birth to breastfeed. The right can’t handle the fact that it works for trans moms too.Evan Urquhart (Assigned)
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The ABCD Family Tree - Starkey Comics
I’ve created an infographic showing the relationship between different scripts used in languages across the world.These 57 different scripts are all thought to have ultimately evolved from the hieroglyphs the Egyptians used over 5000 years ago.Ryan Starkey (Starkey Comics)
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Senior Developer (Networking) - Job Opportunities - University of Cambridge
Senior Developer (Networking) in the University Information Services at the University of Cambridge.www.jobs.cam.ac.uk
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Museum of Cambridge - Preserving the Past - Archiving
This afternoon I went with @WOMUMP and @ceb to a thing at the Museum of Cambridge where we talked about the challenges of preserving and displaying their collection and how, given limited space, you choose what to display and how you want to say that.
share.icloud.com/photos/07ec9X…
iCloud
Sign in to iCloud to access your photos, videos, documents, notes, contacts, and more. Use your Apple ID or create a new account to start using Apple services.share.icloud.com
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Tom Walker
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