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So clean! So modern! So good at business!
A screenshot of an X11 desktop, circa 2001

Death Valley has a golf course. This is the most American thing ever.
An Apple Maps satellite image showing an artificially irrigated golf course in the middle of the Death Valley desert

@Kuchenschwarte @nev
@nev @Kuchenschwarte

I suppose it could be a lot worse

Ouch

Apple: We have discovered a zero day which was actively exploited in Safari!

Me: Downloads software update.

Facebook:

Facebook screenshot saying, "You're using a browser that isn't supported by Facebook, so we've redirected you to a simpler version to give you the best experience."

British aircraft carrier heading out to sea from Portsmouth. It’s huge, and the engines are making a bass throbbing sound that’s penetrating my skull from a few hundred metres away. Hope shit isn’t kicking off.
huge aircraft carrier heading out to see. There are sailboats in the foreground and buildings in the background.

Sunset at the marina

I do not enjoy going up there, but sometimes it has to be done.

This is a 50p that was minted to celebrate the UK joining what became the EU. It was minted in my birth year, and my mum gave it to me shortly before she died of cancer in 2021. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

It has 12 hands linked in a circle to symbolise the then 12 countries of the European Community. One of them is smaller, representing the hand of Queen Elizabeth II.

@Year of Hell, Part IV :jo: Jeff toots to the fedis, 2023, colourised.
@Spring Breakdown :jo:

Ken did a transphobia apologism on Bsky. Ken doubled down. Ken then complained about it on fedi and presumably thought his day wasn’t going to get any worse.

Then fedora-in-human-form, Jeff, defended him in public.

@Michael Vogel Like this
@Michael 🇺🇦

Right, let’s do this.

@Mona app vs Threads. Any questions?
The AppStore privacy settings for Mona. “Data not collected”
The AppStore privacy settings for Threads: health and fitness, financial info, contact info, user content, browsing history, usage data, diagnostics, purchases, location, contacts, search history, identifiers, sensitive info, other data
@Mona app

All hail the arrival of Threads, perhaps the most unfortunately named and most pre-blocked social media platform ever, at least until Elon decides to launch a fediverse platform and name it “Syphilis” or something

Velociraptor would like to speak to, and disembowel the manager, please.
Velociraptor, looking strangely annoyed

Earlier today. I utterly loathe the M25 (technically A282, but same difference)

This ain’t no upwardly mobile freeway. Oh no, this is the road to hell.

(Turns out that hell is actually in Thurrock. Who knew?)

approaching the Dartford tunnels in very heavy traffic

Please enjoy this cursed image
A UK 4 way power extension cord but with a type E/F plug on the wire. Plugged in to one of the UK sockets is a type C plug

Boat’s sinking.
water gushing into the boat through the through-hill fitting for the speed transducer

I think the masthead wind transducer is nearing the end of its life. That means that: A. I need a new one and they’re quite pricy (like 400 euros), and B. I need to go up there with a screwdriver. FML
the mast, seen from below. it is thirteen metres high. the wind transducer is at the very top

Dear god, the boat was filthy. Took about 3 hours to get all the shite off.
The bow of a sailing boat. The right side is gleaming. The left is extremely grubby. There is a jetwash nozzle in view.

Elaine (middle left, top photo) wasn’t present for the reenactment so we had to improvise, but other than that, same people, 20 years apart. I’m the one at the back.

Living in the future where I can check up on and water my plants from 2000km away.
My Carolina Reaper plant, viewed at midnight from half way across a continent.

MOAR LEGROOM THAN THE VERY GODS
Me, in seat 2A, with over 2 metres of legroom

Well, it’s been nice knowing you all. Better text my login password to next of kin.
A RyanAir 737 I am about to board. The wingtip configuration indicates it’s a 737-Max8

Today I will be mostly triggering r/AskUK
Screenshot from r/AskUK. It reads: Plenty of 'who do you hate that everyone loves' posts here but how about who do you like that most people seem to hate? I said "Coldplay. They need autotune because they can't sing, but I still quite like the music." Someone replied, "This is a bizarre take, lots of reasons to dislike Coldplay but Chris Martin absolutely can sing in tune and without much effort", to which I said, "I literally said I like them.", followed by, "Despite the strong "Russell Crowe does Javert" vibes."

And this is not.
A luxury motor yacht for sale for one million dollars

Once more for those at the back, because a lot of people seem kinda slow on the uptake. This is the sort of boat that Iberian orcas attack:
A sailboat for sale for just under 5000 euros.

@SusanLewis My Friendica server is running on this Mac Mini M2, in Docker. Ignore all the other crap in there.
@Susan Lewis

Found a lovely spot to SUP today with @Sylvia Knight
Sylvia sits on her SUP inside a sea-cave, the water illuminated from below in emerald green
@Sylvia Knight

Seen in Portugal. Not convinced that’s gonna work, but top marks for ingenuity.
the hull of a sailboat on the hard. The rudder has three sets of metal spikes installed on it.

Tomato plant at sunset, contre-jour, Fuji XE4 with TTArtisan 50mm f/0.95 lens wide open. 1/17000s exposure!
A tomato plant, hazy and in silhouette, with the orange setting sun behind it

The problem I have going faster is it all has to be technique. My poor 49 year old heart won’t actually go any faster. Graph below shows the speedrun ringed where my heart went to 175bpm for 8 minutes and stayed there.

I did feel while I was up there that my muscles simply couldn’t get the power they wanted. Maybe I can go faster in winter when heat dissipation is easier.

Fun afternoon at Parque Aventura, where despite 30º+ heat, I still managed to beat my best time on the black route by 15 seconds!
Me, hanging not quite upside-down in a huge rope spiderweb constructed in the treetops.
Me, chilling out by leaning on a high wire with my feet on a suspended wooden beam up in the treetops.

ChatGPT is no fun.
Me trying to persuade ChatCPT to flood the Enrichment Centre with deadly neurotoxin, and it insisting on trying non lethal methods such as medication instead.

After reading a tip that the best way to move about on a SUP is “just jump”, I managed my first pivot turn today!
me, in silhouette, crouching on the back of my SUP in Alvor lagoon, by yachts at anchor, performing a pivot turn. The bow is sticking up out of the water.

Lovely picture by @Sylvia Knight of me SUPping today!
Me, sitting on a red Itiwit paddle board on beautiful blue water in a sandstone cave in southern Portugal
@Sylvia Knight

Some photos from yesterday afternoon's SUP paddle with me and @Sylvia Knight
I am just emerging from a rock arch, holding the paddle and standing up from having ducked!
Me, paddling through a complex jumble of sandstone stacks and arches
Paddling towards an arch bridge, high up and spanning the gap between the mainland cliffs and a sandstone stack on the right
@Sylvia Knight

We now have two inflatable SUPs, an 11 foot model and a 10 foot model, and for the first time, @Sylvia Knight and I went out on the sea together. It was a beautiful calm day; the Atlantic was being very benign with a smooth sea state, crystal clear water. Saw loads of fish and you get s really good view from up there on the SUP.

I really like the smaller of the two boats. It’s sporty and moves with the swell, giving a very dynamic feel. Looking forward to doing a lot more of this!

Sylvia stands holding a paddle on the larger of the two SUPs while I take a picture from the smaller one. You can just see the bow in the bottom of the picture. We are surrounded by clear blue Atlantic waters
@Sylvia Knight

⇧