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Welcome to Britain or the United States! We are very advanced! P.S. your house is made of fucking paper or some shit.

Random internet men can U not 2023
a screenshot of a Reddit DM with some random man apparently deciding I am the fortunate recipient of his need to masturbate today, and taking it badly when I tell him to fuck off

Practice, practice, practice, get wet, practice...

And the pivot turn starts to look almost competent!

Me, on a SUP in the middle of a small English river, houses in the background. I am standing in a surf-stance with one foot in front of the other at the back of the board. The bow is lifted clear of the water.

Very little help
A picture of a Tesco supermarket. The first and last letters of their slogan, “every little helps” have been obscured, making it read, “very little help”

A few years ago, Cambridge City Council became the first of many local authorities in the UK to start dismantling its trans equality policy. Here, today, they are flying the progress pride flag from their offices.

Hypocritical bullshitters. We see you.

Jaws theme intensifies

I finally gave in.

The endless glamour of yachting! Time to sip the forbidden milkshake (yes, there is a good reason, and yes, it has to be a plastic straw)
Me, sucking up engine grease from a tin can through a plastic drinking straw

It's that time of year again
My sailboat, Scarlet, hanging in the slings from the boatyard crane, lit from behind by the sun. A boatyard employee is pressure washing the hull.

Night time view from new flat in UK
A dramatic sky with dark lumpy clouds looms over a town. In the foreground, looking down, are 4 and 5 storey red brick modern apartment buildings, with a river running to the left. Rolling hills rise in the distance to a lit-up church spire in front of the last refracted light of the sun

From the trotinete (e-scooter) rental scheme I use in Faro. It may be passive aggressive, but it made me laugh.
iPhone notification saying: It's been 1 month since you last rode... do you have a side scooter emoji or something? Tap to start vour next ride!

Here’s how I see it, by the way.

Marks and Spencer proving that gluten free sandwiches don’t need to be made of cardboard and despair. Others take note.

Oh, it’s amazing.

So clean! So modern! So good at business!
A screenshot of an X11 desktop, circa 2001

Death Valley has a golf course. This is the most American thing ever.
An Apple Maps satellite image showing an artificially irrigated golf course in the middle of the Death Valley desert

@Kuchenschwarte @nev
@nev @Kuchenschwarte

I suppose it could be a lot worse

Ouch

Apple: We have discovered a zero day which was actively exploited in Safari!

Me: Downloads software update.

Facebook:

Facebook screenshot saying, "You're using a browser that isn't supported by Facebook, so we've redirected you to a simpler version to give you the best experience."

British aircraft carrier heading out to sea from Portsmouth. It’s huge, and the engines are making a bass throbbing sound that’s penetrating my skull from a few hundred metres away. Hope shit isn’t kicking off.
huge aircraft carrier heading out to see. There are sailboats in the foreground and buildings in the background.

Sunset at the marina

I do not enjoy going up there, but sometimes it has to be done.

This is a 50p that was minted to celebrate the UK joining what became the EU. It was minted in my birth year, and my mum gave it to me shortly before she died of cancer in 2021. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

It has 12 hands linked in a circle to symbolise the then 12 countries of the European Community. One of them is smaller, representing the hand of Queen Elizabeth II.

@Year of Hell, Part IV :jo: Jeff toots to the fedis, 2023, colourised.
@Spring Breakdown :jo:

Ken did a transphobia apologism on Bsky. Ken doubled down. Ken then complained about it on fedi and presumably thought his day wasn’t going to get any worse.

Then fedora-in-human-form, Jeff, defended him in public.

@Michael Vogel Like this
@Michael Vogel

Right, let’s do this.

@Mona app vs Threads. Any questions?
The AppStore privacy settings for Mona. “Data not collected”
The AppStore privacy settings for Threads: health and fitness, financial info, contact info, user content, browsing history, usage data, diagnostics, purchases, location, contacts, search history, identifiers, sensitive info, other data
@Mona app

All hail the arrival of Threads, perhaps the most unfortunately named and most pre-blocked social media platform ever, at least until Elon decides to launch a fediverse platform and name it “Syphilis” or something

Velociraptor would like to speak to, and disembowel the manager, please.
Velociraptor, looking strangely annoyed

Earlier today. I utterly loathe the M25 (technically A282, but same difference)

This ain’t no upwardly mobile freeway. Oh no, this is the road to hell.

(Turns out that hell is actually in Thurrock. Who knew?)

approaching the Dartford tunnels in very heavy traffic

Please enjoy this cursed image
A UK 4 way power extension cord but with a type E/F plug on the wire. Plugged in to one of the UK sockets is a type C plug

Boat’s sinking.
water gushing into the boat through the through-hill fitting for the speed transducer

I think the masthead wind transducer is nearing the end of its life. That means that: A. I need a new one and they’re quite pricy (like 400 euros), and B. I need to go up there with a screwdriver. FML
the mast, seen from below. it is thirteen metres high. the wind transducer is at the very top

Dear god, the boat was filthy. Took about 3 hours to get all the shite off.
The bow of a sailing boat. The right side is gleaming. The left is extremely grubby. There is a jetwash nozzle in view.

Elaine (middle left, top photo) wasn’t present for the reenactment so we had to improvise, but other than that, same people, 20 years apart. I’m the one at the back.

Living in the future where I can check up on and water my plants from 2000km away.
My Carolina Reaper plant, viewed at midnight from half way across a continent.

MOAR LEGROOM THAN THE VERY GODS
Me, in seat 2A, with over 2 metres of legroom

Well, it’s been nice knowing you all. Better text my login password to next of kin.
A RyanAir 737 I am about to board. The wingtip configuration indicates it’s a 737-Max8

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