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Amphetamine plus afternoon coffee always carries a risk of extreme eepiness. I feel a nap coming on.
in reply to Sarah Brown

Ignore me, I didn’t mean to confuse or upset you. Just wishing you the best. 🤞


I feel like iPhone MagSafe has so much unrealised potential for carrying … stuff. Like I want a little pouch in which I can keep smell essentials. A sort of keyring plus.


I’m having a custom corset made because I’m worth it. Went for the fit test of the mockup today (the final thing is a sumptuous red with black lace detail).

Anyway, she’s gonna take it in another 2-3cm at the waist and give me more push up in the bust.

Exciting!

in reply to Sarah Brown

I saw the medication news and I'm really happy it's working for you!
Me? I don't know how up you are on things ooop North.... I could talk about my wonderful partner @psotle , our travels and adventures, finding a job that feels *right*, we had a second cat for a few months...
I'll settle for life is good, I'm in a good place and really exciting adventure to come later this year ☺️


Labour have proposed a transphobe, Mary Ann Stephenson for next chair of the EHRC. The Women and Equalities Committee of the House of Commons will want to scrutinise this appointment. Help them understand why she’s a bad pick by signing this letter! #UKpol

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAI…

Patrick Hadfield reshared this.




Selfies. One medicated, one unmedicated.

I feel like I’m leading a weird dual existence. Not two people but one person who has a consistent personality but two very different ways of being.

It’s so odd.



Male friends (I have male friends here right?) - have you heard of Ask for Angela?

(A man in The Archers didn’t know of it and I was wondering how likely it is for men to be aware of it.)

in reply to Alexandra Lanes

Yes, although I wasn't completely confident I remembered what exactly it was for (I did) nor that I'd remember the name on demand.


I honestly did not expect starting ADHD meds to result in me seriously considering almost completely giving up alcohol.

Almost seems a shame. Whatever. Gotta move on.

Unknown parent

@Alexa Devreux-Swift I was mostly using it to relax.

But it’s kinda crap at that compared to amphetamine.



So, bit of a problem and it’s a nice problem to have, but still a problem.

The ADHD meds are working better than I’d dared hope.

I’m almost functionally neurotypical on them.

I have no neurotypical socialisation though. I’m a neurodiverse person cosplaying but not masking. Ok. Bit odd. Whatever.

Pretty much all of my friends are neurodiverse.

This appears to be fine amongst the ones who are ADHD and medicated.

The ones who aren’t though; I really need to stop making eye contact because I think I’m freaking them out.

Sorry everyone x



ADHD meds are dangerous! They cause hypertension! You must not take them! - some wankers.

The “hypertension”

in reply to Sarah Brown

lolz, just tested, 148/102 😆 yeah... you do not have hypertension... but I do.


Breakfast of champions (if your champion happens to be a chaos goblin). Clockwise from left: blood pressure monitor, cereal, water, protein yoghurt, lisdexamfetamine 50mg.

Momo @ GPN reshared this.



This blows my mind. My sleep data from Apple Health over the last 6 months.

The green line marks the point I started amphetamines. It doesn’t make a lot of difference.

The red line: I read Sisters of Dorley

in reply to Heather 👻

@Heather 👻 Oh, doctors are no good for HRT. You want a transbian mad scientist coven for that.
in reply to Sarah Brown

... Yeah I'm now considering this. Not the first to suggest it. Just not sure if I can easily access testing (or afford it). It's all bullshit.


Trying out more fediverse/distributed things and doing cross-positing from various places to Bluesky. Let's see how well this works!




reshared this

in reply to Zoë O'Connell

@zoe @marlies

Always interesting seeing variation in what meds do and don't allow and how to balance desirable and less-desirable things and learning to live with a changed neurology.



ADHD med titration continues apace. I’m sticking with 50mg Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine) and adding in 10mg Amfexa (dexamphetamine) as a booster to get me through the evening.
Unknown parent

@Becky Yeah. They’ve basically fixed my IBS and reflux issues too.


I honestly never dreamed my life would go in the direction of having to manage the duality of being a functional adult who can do adult things in the daytime and is sensible and all that stuff, and a chaos goblin by the evening.

The transition I saw coming from a long time before, if I’m being honest. But while neurodivergence was always obvious to anyone who met me, finally getting the actual answer and following it through to Planet Amphetamine and all that implies has blindsided me a bit.

These drugs are very very weird to be on.

But they may have saved my life.

in reply to Sarah Brown

I'm glad the drugs are so helpful, I know there's huge variation in how helpful they can be, but so positive at such an early stage. Hope your titration/jibbling continue to go well and you get an optimal configuration for you.


The single weirdest thing for me about being on Elvanse for ADHD is getting to spend each day as a functioning human being with regulated emotions and executive function, but knowing that the clock is ticking and that when the timer runs down I am going to return to being a self-hating hyperactive messy vial of emotional nitroglycerin.


Oh god. I am feeling utterly SEEN by this. #ADHD m.youtube.com/watch?v=k-k2_Lio…
#adhd


Extreme sports, Iberian edition: about to take the lift.

Mark Asser reshared this.



Having my first day off Elvanse.

Plan is all about self care. Avoid stressful stuff. If there is ANY hint of pushback against anything that needs doing, then I will make it a problem for future Sarah.




Who sets up a business and decides to call it Fahrenheit 451 (Communications) Ltd?


I feel like there’s a lot of reverse ableism with people telling me that the REAL problem with ADHD is that I am “traumatised” by a world that isn’t adapted to my needs and that were it not for this “trauma”, I would be able to function just fine.

If it’s trauma, why does a single pill that raises my dopamine levels switch it off like a light switch and turn me into an emotionally stable adult with executive function?

in reply to Sarah Brown

I had a shower and thought more (as you do) and maybe it's just the usual problem of people projecting their own problems. Also medication only works for about 70% of people with ADHD and not everyone has the glorious epiphany you have (congrats tho!)

Also I wonder, like in my case, my DMN is rather strong and annoying... Combined with high empathy (confirmed medically kinda now due to the stupid ASD screening) it's a rather hard-mode life for me.



reshared this

in reply to Heather 👻

@zoe
12 May I hear the response to my official complaint. We'll see if they can offer outside assessment or just fuck me over some more and claim i'm just "unhappy" with the suggestion of ASD/anxiety/whatever they wanna make up.


Am I just deluded in thinking that when I was a younger adult, journalists at least PRETENDED to hold politicians to account?
in reply to Sarah Brown

no, everybody has just had media training now and so never actually answers a question- it's infuriating!
in reply to Grant Stephens

@Grant Stephens It's not just this. They don't need to not answer them if the journalists won't even ASK them.
in reply to Sarah Brown

Yup, this is true too. I supposes its just a function of not having impartial media :\


I love the way depression makes it impossible to make decisions while also making me postpone them until the time they are most stressful




One thing I did NOT expect from ADHD meds: much easier to put my contact lenses in.

I guess my eyes are no longer darting about all over the place.

mxk reshared this.



Worthwhile copypasta from a friend.
Please help push back against the transphobic UK Supreme Court judgment. Philippa East has created an excellent letter that you can co-sign using this link.
forms.gle/FZXBWzWFx4fHhPAL8
#TransRightsAreHumanRights


Elvanse LOWERING my BP

It’s supposedly at risk of doing the opposite.

How bloody stressed was I before?

in reply to Sarah Brown

For about a year now every day after lunch when the second Medikinet dose kicks in, I get so sleepy that I have to sleep for 30min on our couch. Coping is stress and you get so used to it... 😩
in reply to Sarah Brown

This is why my kid drinks coffee to help them sleep


Still not got a good answer to the question of how neurotypicals have fun.

Like, it has recently come to my attention that you lot get a dopamine reward for picking up your socks off the floor and putting them away. I have now experienced this and, wow! Yeah. Very cool! Neat trick you have there.

So why spend money on leisure activities when you can just pick shit up?

reshared this

in reply to Kincaid

@Kincaid Honestly it feels pretty good to me.

But I guess I’ve been on starvation rations for 51 years.

in reply to Kincaid

@Kincaid Update: yeah. Ok. Fair enough.

The novelty of ANY hit at all was quite a thing at first. Now I appreciate your point.

in reply to Sarah Brown

and the hit isn't for doing the laundry, it's for not having to do the laundry in the immediate future. The doing still sucks
in reply to Kincaid

@Kincaid Laundry pile is smaller.

Look, I've seriously been STARVING my entire life. A biscuit is a banquet.

in reply to Sarah Brown

The knack is learning how to *stop* doing tasks. I'm still learning, 3 years on Elvanse.


Somehow reassuring to see the Guardian and Observer getting absolutely mauled for their transphobia. Dump that trashfire of a paper. I think by normalising transphobia among the soi-disant left they’ve done as much if not more harm than the right wing press.

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It’s really starting to hit me now. All those years I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t deliberately obstructive. I wasn’t thoughtless. I wasn’t careless. I wasn’t a deliberate arsehole.

My neurology literally wouldn’t let me slow down, do stuff, talk quieter, not interrupt, not go from 0 to “temper tantrum” in 2 seconds, remember where I put the thing I was holding 1 second ago. Not want to end people for talking too slowly.

One pill fixes it all. One sodding pill.

51 years.

There’s more grieving to come here, I think. A lot more.

And no, everyone is NOT “a little bit ADHD”. You have no bloody idea.

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in reply to Sarah Brown

@Ghost of Hope 🏳️‍⚧️ Just remember, nobody in your family has cardiac issues. You do not do substance abuse. You have never borrowed someone else's prescription medicine.

Because of course you wouldn't do those things.

Unknown parent

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source
Sarah Brown

@Ghost of Hope 🏳️‍⚧️ Heart failure in extreme old age probably fine.

They will get weird if they think you might have cardiac issues.



First few days on Elvanse and wow! This stuff is honestly astonishing.

If you’re seeing this on Bluesky it’s auto cross posted from fedi. Breaks might be in odd places.

It’s essentially created two versions of me. There is medicated me who is a competent adult and can Just Do Stuff and unmedicated me who is mot, and cannot (but who is fun and lovely and is the version writing this).

On the way up the transition between the two is smooth and continuous.

On the way down it is not. I can feel it starting to fade over above half and hour then it reaches some critical level and o spend 10-15 minutes just crashing.

And then I’m the person writing this again, but a bit dazed and bewildered.

I’m hoping this will get smoother. At the moment it leads to almost a discontinuity in personality, but only on the way down, where afterwards I simply cannot conceive of being the person I just was.

I think I need to get into the habit, before it wears off, of leaving myself something nice for just after the crash.

in reply to Llwynog

Years ago, people would have described my aversion to small talk as "autistic". But this implies lacking the skills to make small talk. I avert it due to it requiring me to concentrate (on something that wastes time); it has nothing to do with an inability to schmooze, otherwise I would not have reached where I have in my nursing career. Understanding this, instead of lazily describing it as "autistic", has helped me gain a greater understanding of my life.


I just took a very satisfying dump in the ladies’. I imagined every transphobe was down there.