I’m having a custom corset made because I’m worth it. Went for the fit test of the mockup today (the final thing is a sumptuous red with black lace detail).
Anyway, she’s gonna take it in another 2-3cm at the waist and give me more push up in the bust.
Exciting!
Me? I don't know how up you are on things ooop North.... I could talk about my wonderful partner @psotle , our travels and adventures, finding a job that feels *right*, we had a second cat for a few months...
I'll settle for life is good, I'm in a good place and really exciting adventure to come later this year ☺️
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Labour have proposed a transphobe, Mary Ann Stephenson for next chair of the EHRC. The Women and Equalities Committee of the House of Commons will want to scrutinise this appointment. Help them understand why she’s a bad pick by signing this letter! #UKpol
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Selfies. One medicated, one unmedicated.
I feel like I’m leading a weird dual existence. Not two people but one person who has a consistent personality but two very different ways of being.
It’s so odd.
Male friends (I have male friends here right?) - have you heard of Ask for Angela?
(A man in The Archers didn’t know of it and I was wondering how likely it is for men to be aware of it.)
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I honestly did not expect starting ADHD meds to result in me seriously considering almost completely giving up alcohol.
Almost seems a shame. Whatever. Gotta move on.
@Alexa Devreux-Swift I was mostly using it to relax.
But it’s kinda crap at that compared to amphetamine.
So, bit of a problem and it’s a nice problem to have, but still a problem.
The ADHD meds are working better than I’d dared hope.
I’m almost functionally neurotypical on them.
I have no neurotypical socialisation though. I’m a neurodiverse person cosplaying but not masking. Ok. Bit odd. Whatever.
Pretty much all of my friends are neurodiverse.
This appears to be fine amongst the ones who are ADHD and medicated.
The ones who aren’t though; I really need to stop making eye contact because I think I’m freaking them out.
Sorry everyone x
ADHD meds are dangerous! They cause hypertension! You must not take them! - some wankers.
The “hypertension”
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This blows my mind. My sleep data from Apple Health over the last 6 months.
The green line marks the point I started amphetamines. It doesn’t make a lot of difference.
The red line: I read Sisters of Dorley
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I honestly never dreamed my life would go in the direction of having to manage the duality of being a functional adult who can do adult things in the daytime and is sensible and all that stuff, and a chaos goblin by the evening.
The transition I saw coming from a long time before, if I’m being honest. But while neurodivergence was always obvious to anyone who met me, finally getting the actual answer and following it through to Planet Amphetamine and all that implies has blindsided me a bit.
These drugs are very very weird to be on.
But they may have saved my life.
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Lola Young - Messy (Official Video)
Messy out now!Listen and Download here: https://lolayoung.lnk.to/messyVDMy Album is out now 'This wasn't meant for you Anyway': https://LolaYoung.lnk.to/twmf...YouTube
Having my first day off Elvanse.
Plan is all about self care. Avoid stressful stuff. If there is ANY hint of pushback against anything that needs doing, then I will make it a problem for future Sarah.
I feel like there’s a lot of reverse ableism with people telling me that the REAL problem with ADHD is that I am “traumatised” by a world that isn’t adapted to my needs and that were it not for this “trauma”, I would be able to function just fine.
If it’s trauma, why does a single pill that raises my dopamine levels switch it off like a light switch and turn me into an emotionally stable adult with executive function?
I had a shower and thought more (as you do) and maybe it's just the usual problem of people projecting their own problems. Also medication only works for about 70% of people with ADHD and not everyone has the glorious epiphany you have (congrats tho!)
Also I wonder, like in my case, my DMN is rather strong and annoying... Combined with high empathy (confirmed medically kinda now due to the stupid ASD screening) it's a rather hard-mode life for me.
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One thing I did NOT expect from ADHD meds: much easier to put my contact lenses in.
I guess my eyes are no longer darting about all over the place.
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Please help push back against the transphobic UK Supreme Court judgment. Philippa East has created an excellent letter that you can co-sign using this link. forms.gle/FZXBWzWFx4fHhPAL8 #TransRightsAreHumanRights
Elvanse LOWERING my BP
It’s supposedly at risk of doing the opposite.
How bloody stressed was I before?
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Still not got a good answer to the question of how neurotypicals have fun.
Like, it has recently come to my attention that you lot get a dopamine reward for picking up your socks off the floor and putting them away. I have now experienced this and, wow! Yeah. Very cool! Neat trick you have there.
So why spend money on leisure activities when you can just pick shit up?
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@Kincaid Honestly it feels pretty good to me.
But I guess I’ve been on starvation rations for 51 years.
@Kincaid Update: yeah. Ok. Fair enough.
The novelty of ANY hit at all was quite a thing at first. Now I appreciate your point.
@Kincaid Laundry pile is smaller.
Look, I've seriously been STARVING my entire life. A biscuit is a banquet.
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It’s really starting to hit me now. All those years I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t deliberately obstructive. I wasn’t thoughtless. I wasn’t careless. I wasn’t a deliberate arsehole.
My neurology literally wouldn’t let me slow down, do stuff, talk quieter, not interrupt, not go from 0 to “temper tantrum” in 2 seconds, remember where I put the thing I was holding 1 second ago. Not want to end people for talking too slowly.
One pill fixes it all. One sodding pill.
51 years.
There’s more grieving to come here, I think. A lot more.
And no, everyone is NOT “a little bit ADHD”. You have no bloody idea.
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@Ghost of Hope 🏳️⚧️ Just remember, nobody in your family has cardiac issues. You do not do substance abuse. You have never borrowed someone else's prescription medicine.
Because of course you wouldn't do those things.
@Ghost of Hope 🏳️⚧️ Heart failure in extreme old age probably fine.
They will get weird if they think you might have cardiac issues.
First few days on Elvanse and wow! This stuff is honestly astonishing.
If you’re seeing this on Bluesky it’s auto cross posted from fedi. Breaks might be in odd places.
It’s essentially created two versions of me. There is medicated me who is a competent adult and can Just Do Stuff and unmedicated me who is mot, and cannot (but who is fun and lovely and is the version writing this).
On the way up the transition between the two is smooth and continuous.
On the way down it is not. I can feel it starting to fade over above half and hour then it reaches some critical level and o spend 10-15 minutes just crashing.
And then I’m the person writing this again, but a bit dazed and bewildered.
I’m hoping this will get smoother. At the moment it leads to almost a discontinuity in personality, but only on the way down, where afterwards I simply cannot conceive of being the person I just was.
I think I need to get into the habit, before it wears off, of leaving myself something nice for just after the crash.
Sarah Brown likes this.
Elvanse!
NO FUCKING WAY!
Richard Barrell
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Benzo Kazooie
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in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown
in reply to Benzo Kazooie • •@Benzo Kazooie I’m honestly lost!
Is it the coffee on top? I use it to avoid a hard landing.
Benzo Kazooie
in reply to Sarah Brown • • •Sarah Brown
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